<$BlogRSDUrl$> Gay Canadian X Party Boy

Friday, February 24, 2006

Hey all

Just a little post to let everyone know I'm good!, life is good! Spring fever or the beginnings of it are stirring here or at least fro me!...The new season is starting to rev up..I'm so looking forward to a nice warm patio and some sangria!....Oh the boyz are heading back from Mexico....Ya...So things are picking up....Haven't been tanning much, thinks me is suffering from a bit a S.A.D. so hitting the tanning beds again soon!....

All The Best to you all...

Where ever you are!, be proud of who you are! And don't forget! When your out being oh so gay! To smile! A happy person is a good thing!....

I know I'm tired of the gay thing but hey I've been so uber good! Not been out in well over a month! People are starting to wonder where I am!.......Don't you all worry I'm in fine shape....Haven't shaved in a few weeks though wow how a beard makes a man look different! In my case older ten + years its the grey big time....

me outz

fav thing of the week cheery lip gloss! Chap lips LIP BALM Cherry flavor!

Oh yes Blogger be ware! I have been targeted by a guy who doesn't like the fact I had gay sex pics or sex pics for that matter nude pics on my blog with googles adds..Well I tell you he started a forum up about it and kept updates on his complaint to google! He won and my adds are gone now! Not that I'm bothered really at all!....I made more from blogadds in one month then I did on google adds in the a year plus so who's loss is it! Not mine! Buddy boy who complained can suck my dick....But first let me have not showered for a few days! Hey and while he's at it he can lick my ass to!...Screw him....Nothing better to do I guess what some people get of On I tell You! Google add in dec 20$ hmm so I wonder if they are goingto send that to me!...My adds where always targeted to my readers and I know for a fact that google made lots a cash of me!.....To bad the deal is in there favour!....Don't get me wrong I love google..Its the guy that the issue is about! google adds are on tens of thousands of porn sites!....I bet that guy is busy complaining about his next victim!....


Sunday, February 19, 2006

So, Your Utopia Needs a Language...
By Tristan Davenport
24 October 2005

"The limits of my language stand for the limits of my world."

Ludwig Wittgenstein was overstating his case when he wrote the famous sentence above, but that has not prevented science fiction writers from taking this concept and running with it. Ever since George Orwell, SF authors have been inventing languages to explain or illustrate the alien psychologies of their characters. If Eskimos have fifty or a hundred words for snow, they reason, how many words will future man have for spaceships? If Klingons love only war, will they have even a single word for "love"? Such questions make sense to us because we have swallowed the extreme notion that our language limits, even determines, our way of thinking. This concept is called linguistic determinism. It comes in a strong form—Wittgenstein's absolutism—which science has largely rejected, and a weak form, which has won some acceptance. But it is the strong form that has quietly taken residence in SF, to the point that today no fictional society is complete without a matching language.

rest can be found here if your so inclined....<-more things I spend my time reading!

My Window Is Your Mirror, My Mirror Is Your Wall, My Wall Is Your Window
By Matthew Cheney
13 February 2006

It usually happens with poetry, but sometimes with certain short stories or novels, too: a student says, "Why can't they just write it so people can understand?" And everyone in the class nods in agreement. Because what we read should be written so that we can understand it. It should not be unduly difficult, it should not make us feel stupid, it should not be what we don't like. It should be accessible, transparent—a clear window on a bright day; not a mirror, not a wall.

Inevitably, the student thinks the writer did it to be confusing. But not just confusing to anybody. No, this is a personal attack. Writers whose work is not accessible to us make it inaccessible against us in particular; they set out to smother us in the gooey depths of our own ignorance. They hate us and want to hurt us.

According to many of my students, such writers were paid very well for their work and were drug addicts. I'm not sure why so many of the high school students I have taught think that poets get rich off their writing, but think this they do. I can understand the accusation of drug addiction more—after all, anybody who writes anything that I would not myself have imagined must be altering their brain, because otherwise how can they imagine something I would not imagine, right?


There is no such thing as "accessible writing." There is writing that is, under some conditions, accessible to certain audiences. But even that statement is not entirely true, because it presumes we can say that something definitely did or definitely did not communicate everything it was supposed to communicate. ("Supposed to" according to whom?) However, I don't want to get into an abstruse philosophical argument here about whether anything can be defined, etc., because I have a practical point to move toward. Let's just make the stategic decision to accept the statement, "There is writing that is, under some conditions, accessible to certain audiences," and go from there.

Steven Wright: "I was reading the dictionary; I thought it was a poem about everything."

I am at this particular moment working from the assumption that you understand the majority of what I am writing here. I am, then, assuming that most of these sentences are accessible. To do that, I have to make some assumptions about my audience. I assume that you are literate in English, by which I mean not that you can simply decode the denotative meanings of English words, but that you have a mature vocabulary, experience with complex sentences, and at least a basic understanding of expository modes of writing. I assume that you have some ability to follow a logical argument, and that you will judge what I write based on how well I construct that argument. I assume that you are a reader of fiction of some sort (probably science fiction and fantasy, given the venue I'm writing for, but not necessarily) and that you have at least a vague interest in thinking about fiction's writers and audiences (because otherwise why are you still reading this?), and in particular the fiction that grows out of literary traditions in Britain and North America. I'm sure there are other assumptions I am making about you that are less apparent to me, but the basic fact is this: I am assuming you and I are mostly working from the same conventions of communication and a shared body of knowledge.

The accessibility of these sentences has nothing to do with their value. They are not useful or interesting sentences to a child just learning to read (and to whom they are inaccessible), but they are also not likely to be of much use or interest to a graduate student in literary theory, either, at least not if that person is looking for some new and original insight, because, despite the accessibility of these ideas to such a person, there is nothing particularly new or original here.

Perhaps everything I have written so far, despite its likely accessibility to my target audience, is utterly worthless. I'm sure at least one reader thinks so.

To cry that a type of writing "is not accessible" and then to decry that "writing should be accessible" is to make a narcissistic claim. The claim builds off the expectation that what you read should conform to the conventions you know and are most comfortable with. It universalizes personal preferences. It is a totalitarian impulse.

Gertrude Stein: "Clarity is of no importance because nobody listens and nobody knows what you mean no matter what you mean, nor how clearly you mean what you mean. But if you have vitality enough of knowing enough of what you mean, somebody and sometime and sometimes a great many will have to realize that you know what you mean and so they will agree that you mean what you know, what you know you mean, which is as near as anybody can come to understanding any one." (Four in America)

Consider the insults hurled at some pieces of writing. Self-indulgent and masturbatory are two common ones. These are not words used to create dialogue and discussion about a particular work's merits; these are slurs that insist the writer sought to please only herself and that the writer himself is the only person who could possibly find pleasure in that work. Therefore anyone who says otherwise is lying. It is a judgment on both the writer and the audience, and it is damning, because it does not merely say, "I do not like this," but, instead, "I do not like this, and neither can you."

When someone calls a piece of writing "self-indulgent" or "masturbatory," they say more about themselves than they do about the writing or writer being insulted. A person using such terms claims to understand what is going on in the mind of the writer, that, against all evidence, the insulter knows the writer intended to give no pleasure to anybody, that the writer was not solely concerned with giving the imaginary audience their rightful jollies, because the imaginary audience must be composed entirely of clones of the insulter.

The fear of inaccessibility, and the contemptuous insults that arise from that fear, are linked to fears of ignorance, fears that there are things in the world that cannot be grasped, pleasures that are not universal, ideas too complex for every mind to comprehend, beauties visible only to some people, miracles that affect the few.

The push for writing to be "accessible" to a general audience fails to question the assumptions that allow a concept of a "general audience" to make any sense, and it seeks to force writers to work within conventions of writing that may involve compromises the writer does not want (or need) to make.

There might be good reasons to privilege some types of accessibility. A relativistic argument, one that suggests all writing is equally good or bad because no writing can truly communicate, may lead to some intriguing discussions, but it's not practical or even particularly satisfying. People tend to want to judge things, and they tend to want to be able to share both their enthusiasms and their frustrations. To do so we must differentiate, we must create dichotomies and taxonomies, hierarchies and privileges, loves and hates. At the same time, we must criticize each we encounter: each dichotomy, each taxonomy, each hierarchy, each privilege, each love, each hate.

Jonathan Culler: "The ideal would be to contemplate thought directly. Since this cannot be, language should be as transparent as possible. The threat of nontransparency is the danger that, instead of permitting direct contemplation of thought, linguistic signs might arrest the gaze and, by interposing their material form, affect or infect the thought." (On Deconstruction)

There is the danger of fetishizing The New, of praising anything that looks new and different because we so yearn for the new and the different. It may not be the new and the different that we most need. We may need to rediscover old ways of doing things. We may need to remember what has been forgotten. We may need to repair rather than rip, to console rather than castigate. When we are in the grip of these different needs, what is or is not comprehensible will change, and how it is comprehensible, and to what extent, will change as well.

The first time I read William Faulkner's Absalom, Absalom!, I threw it across the room after the first twenty pages. I had never actually thrown a book before, but I couldn't figure out what kind of novel this was, I didn't understand what was happening, I couldn't find a way in, and I felt stupid, a fool. But I also felt guilty for throwing the book, and so I walked over and picked it up and continued reading. After reading thirty more pages, I threw it across the room again. Still, I felt guilty. I picked it up, continued reading. After forty more pages, I threw it across the room again. I screamed. I gnashed my teeth. I whined and moaned. I picked up the book, and continued reading.

It remains my favorite novel, the only book that gives me absolute, euphoric pleasure when I read any page of it.

I was sitting in a graduate seminar recently when a fairly young student and the professor got into an argument about clear prose. The student complained that what we were reading was written in such a way that it excluded most readers, because the language was too complex, the ideas too abstract. He thought that the ideas he had encountered in these dense texts, or at least the ideas he felt most comfortable with, were ones that it could benefit the world at large to know and to understand. It seemed to him that, instead of sharing their knowledge, the academics who had written what we had read were writing in a kind of code for the initiated. He believed that if the ideas were not ones that would be "useful" to "ordinary people" then they were not particularly good ideas.

I wanted to agree with him. I have had similar thoughts when reading difficult texts. I get frustrated, because I lose the ability to know whether what I am reading is worthwhile or whether it is a sham, whether the language matches the complexity of the ideas or whether it masks a profound emptiness.

I could not agree with him. I have struggled for a long time to develop the skills to read complex texts. I am not always successful; in fact, more often than not I fail to comprehend writing I would like to be able to comprehend. Sometimes I get too tired. Sometimes I read too quickly. Sometimes I want easy reading. Sometimes I want to forget about shared conventions, to let them stay invisible and unquestioned. Sometimes I think ideas should be presented in the clearest possible prose, and ideas that are not must be hiding something. Sometimes.

But most writers are not paid well for their work, and most poets are not drug addicts. Great writers strive—they strive for effects of language, they strive to convey complex ideas, they strive to communicate across the gulf of potential incomprehensions lurking between each person. Readers must sometimes strive, too, if they want to reach toward the greater accomplishments of human art and thought. There is a difference between what is easy and what is rewarding, although neither is mutually inclusive or exclusive.

I once also believed that ideas should be useful to ordinary people, but the longer I lived and the more I experienced, the less I was able to define any of the terms such a yearning relied upon.

Useful. Who gets to decide which ideas are useful and which are not?

Ordinary people. Who are they? Have you met them? Where can I find them?

There is a secret lost continent full of ordinary people, and I must go there. I have some ideas that might be useful to them, and some prose I know they will find accessible.

Perhaps what we need is to stop talking about "accessibility," to admit it is a concept that leads us only to insupportable generalizations and insulting accusations.

Communication is all about shared definitions and shared knowledge. But it is also about shared desires, shared fears, and shared experiences.

All writers are rich, and all poets are drug addicts.

Define writers and rich. Define poets, drug, and addicts.

Tell me why you want this to be true.

Tom Lehrer: "I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very least he can do is to shut up."

—for Klaus Milich


Well this will be my three hundredth and twenty sixth post....

My belly is full I ate an entire large pizza last night and ten wings....Lets just say I had to change my evening ware, throughout the night cause my belly was very big!...LOL

So I've got through the worst of the past week I think and my moods due to my poor judgment in my late night adventures...To put it in any other way would be saying to much at this point!....I know I know speaking in vague terms is not fair to me or you but I find now my blog is not a place I can express my feelings and my true life anymore! This is why I say I'm not happy with what has become of my blog!>>>my doing yes!....

I'm curious how many others who have blogged for as long as I have, have found there blog evolve into something that is now a place that can not reflect there true life or most personal exploits!....

I could for sure tell you that I have been up to no good or that I have been not feeling well! Or in other word tell you the least and you can make your own conclusions! But then that leaves open the possibility that conclusions drawn will be in error! So where does this leave me now! Do I throw it to the wind! Venture forward cautiously choosing to error on the side of caution!....

Its a hard debate I find myself tormented by when it comes to blogging! There was a time when I would post no matter what to the blog I was feeling! But now I just am not sure! I see so many blogs now that are about gossip! The latest trends on fashion and the like! This is not me and what I think blogs are! In fact I found myself venturing to that point here! But as I've said I now don't think its where I am wanting to go! So hence the point I am at now! What to do?...

We will see I guess! I'm thinking in time I can take this blog to its original format or let it continue to evolve!....strange place I know!

Now what to do today!

Laundry! organise my room! watch Olympics!....The Olympics for sure! Go Canada!

Who ever thought the Swiss would beat Canada at hockey! Hmmmm I actually watched the entire game last night....What a game it was....reminded me of the days when I used to go to games all the time!..I miss that rush you feel when your team is on the winning side! that intense feeling or pride! Its a true natural Hi....I like that kind a hi! You know that gut feeling! like when you watch someone wipe out bad you get that deep feeling, ouch! You feel for that person! its instinctual I think! amazing! true human compassion! Pride! Emotion! I strive for it! revel in it! and am envious of it!


Saturday, February 18, 2006

So much I want to do 

Tour Egypt for example!

Well I so want to travel, If I could I would spend months wondering around places like Alexandria

I so want to see things like this!


Demonstration of things I like more than just gay 

the man who invented the internet has a blog

An other very cool thing I found is PLAZES

If I'm to continue this blog it will be, have to be more in tune with what interests me on a more broad spectrum....Hey its my choice right I just hope it is what others will like to see.....

I also wanted to re post some interesting pics I found.....

Some of you may noticed I deleted my last post, well the story goes I have recently received an email from reader who has made me really think about what I share here!...You know who you are please respond to my last email! Someone Questioning? I really want to know more about what you! And what this is about?

Also on some other sites I gave a bit to much info out about me and where exactly I am so this has caused me some concern as well....I'll get over it, I almost have really I have! The thing Is, I have lost a sense of personal privacy I didn't think I had or realized was there to begin with!....

Anyway enough said I have to get back to my life tomorrow after a much needed rest the past week or so!...

Later peeps....

oh yes another interesting blog I found is...

walkah's blog I'm always envious of men like this as I wonder where my life turned that I didn't get to this point or was not able to..As I remember when I was a young lad being so driven in the academics..I do have an Hi IQ and have done and do do very well at what I put my mind to....Its just for some reason I have a point I let my self get to and then self destruct! Need to figure out this part A me and fix that! Soon really soon cause I'm tired of the same old same old everything has lost its interest to me this past while...I'm bored very bored.................Need a new direction in life....I think I will regroup my efforts in my charity work....I wish others I know who are so fast to judge me would focus there energy in that direction! As there are plenty of things needing to be done, Of course there is the glamorous get your name in the paper positions....But hey when it comes right down to it its the grunt hard labor that needs doing! And who is that guy its most often me!....Anyway....

Ok need my sleeps

later again!....

Oh yes I'm feeling Ok again! Up down I go the winter is taking a toll on this Vancouver Boy! Yah me go back my tail between my legs no I don't think so!...


Friday, February 17, 2006

Its time I think 


After three years almost I think it may be time to retire this site!

I'm not sure yet but, I'm getting hi numbers of hits but its not about that!

I'm not sure how I feel about this site anymore...Or what it has become!

I've seen some of my critics have been busy talking about me....I really am not bothered by them.....When you put you life out on the net people will talk I know this....

Its just that I'm thinking about a new and uncertain future.....I'm not sure about the road ahead anymore.....I'm tired of the so called gay life! Is that possible...

Not men but the entire everything that goes along with it....Maybe I just need a break I don't know....I'm not as sure as I used to be.....

So I'm stepping back for a little while, I'll still be there don't you all think I'm goin away! I'm still going to be doin my things....I'm just goin to be in the back ground for a while....Its better that way for my sanity......

Its time for an reinvention!....I'm oh so good at that!

I'm outz....


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