<$BlogRSDUrl$> Gay Canadian X Party Boy

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Every few years I go into this mode where I reevaluate everything in my life...It most often is triggered by a period of stress or depression...Both I'm suffering from the past month....I'm not happy with every aspect of my life.....My health being key to everything....My latest cd4 count 140!!! been that way for months...Viral load undetectable or below 50. At least I'm happy about that...That's good but I feel like crap....I can't focus and am not motivated at all.....All I seem to be able to is go out a few times a week sleep for days and do it all over again....I can't keep my room clean and my self for that matter.....

Its time for a big change....I can feel it coming...I may be forced into it or take the steps my self...Not sure what it will be but its big...And I'm almost there.....It could be a move across the county, to Montreal...Not sure or a move to a new apartment, A drastic change in life, my behavior...I don't know...I'm thinking about going on anti depression meds again to see if its that first and go from there....

I'm sorry to anyone who reads this who knows me personally and has been affected by my latest round of life......I think I'm on an outward step from this IT seems to be every few months I go through this I don't know why but its really hard to keep it together right now....

I'm outz

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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Ok I have a definite few fetishes and or looks I find sexy one of them being motor bikes or motor cross..You know the look fast speed bikes.....I don't know what it is

I've got my self a pair or Joe Rocket leather bike pants that zip all the way up the side and are hot but I need a jacket for the look and to wear around this fall winter....

I've bid on this one on Ebay

What do you think I really like the look and being a guy who likes the not so normal look part of my persona/look you could say would really match with this jacket....I have no intension of going on a sports bike..But wouldn't turn down a ride....

Hot you think? Let me know Its going to cost me a bit to get the thing after customs exchange and so on...

I'm just drooling with anticipation to get it on me....You know that feeling, it makes you hard excited hot sexual pumped all at the same time....Reminded me of the time I tried on my friends room mates jock years ago...He was a semi pro khockey player...the smell the taste ouch I was so turned on I hit the ceiling with that load Ouch...Mmmmm those where the days....

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le grand circuit gears up!
On August 12 a team of sixty hikers and crew will leave a checkpoint in Quebec??s Mont Tremblant Provincial Park taking them on a journey intended to help thousands in Canada and abroad. They are working at both the local and global levels in order to stem the devastating spread of HIV/AIDS everywhere.

Le Grant Circuit Foundation is a not-for-profit federally-registered charity whose mission is to promote innovative fundraising events that create new sources revenue, helping both local and global groups preserver in the fight against HIV/AIDS. The Foundation??s mandate is to identify and raise funds for the HIV/AIDS-related organisations most in need.

Sponsor a Hiker

I was sent an email about this from CANFAR an
organizationon I help out some times....

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Hey all

So I've been away for a few weeks....As some of you have come to figure its not a good sign....

Lets just say I've been a bit down as of late....Up to some old bad habits and I mean old and bad....

So after sorting things out yet again I have to really get it together so I decide the other day to just worry about what I can fix and what I can't to move on from....

Last post I was going on about The Folsom Fair North


Wow
Busy day... Got home its 11:30pm
It started with torrential rain...
the sun broke threw the clouds around 2, 3 PM and the crowds grew by the hour...
are booth was in the #1 spot beside the main stage we had a head on view of the entire show.... I'd say we where given one of the best locations in the fair....
the go go boys where busy all day handing out flyers towels and stickers...
I'd say all in all it was a very good day...
The talent was huge and the dance area was packed up till the end 11pm at the fair
The men who put on the Fair did a good job....

I'd say plan on being there next year....It was in a park surrounded by 100+ year old oak trees and the like simply gorgeous leather fetish gay straight and everything in between, nature in the heart of the Mega City....T-Dot

I'm outz

ps Have you seen this guys Blog....One a the only ones I read every week......

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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

I'm feeling blog Happy today.....Yah happy blogging....

Hello you! And yes you too!!! All them out there who stop bye to look in on me and my crazy but sexy existence.....

Now say hi you all....

Peace, hugs and a big wet kisses......

I'm outz

Dawg days a summer here 40+c its a hot out here, My tan is looking oh so lickable....

Hold on captain where approaching 3500, wow what a ride.....

Your my Nightmare, I can see I can see, in the night in the night, I'm your nightmare...See all I need is your on my mind nothing else matters but time flying by tonight I got you I need I got you I want you I feel you I want you because your my nightmare in the night in the night you follow me where ever I go...I can see you folow me where ever I go I can see I can see

where I go I can see I can see I can see

IN the night in the night In the night In the night.....

I'm your nightmare

"you just met me......Crazy ahhhh" In the night In the night.....

In the night I follow You follow you follow you follow you follow...In the night you follow me where ever I go I can see where I go....

I can see I can see.....

see all I need is your on my mind nothing else matters I got you I need you I want you I feel you I need you because your my nightmare

From the Song nightmare DJ I.C.O.N. Techno 2005 cd1
a taste of my ipod something new here look back for more taste musical bits....
you can find this song on winmx or your fave downing client....

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I'm thinking about getting a tattoo, why not something really freaking out there hot sexy and sorta gay....I'm thinking + on the back of my neck...What do you all think? But not in this form the plus sign in an other language.....I think its cool and would just save me so much grief if I just have it branded on the back of my neck that I"m poz....I'm very excited about this idea and it will happen....Any suggestions??? Send them to my email gaycanadianxpartyboy@hotmail.com

Positive Tattoos Bare HIV Status By Design

USA Today (08/22/94) P. 1D
Snead, Elizabeth

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HIV tattoos are the latest method HIV-positive people have been using to disclose their condition to friends, family, and the general public. According to Richard Perez-Feria, editor of Poz magazine, the tattoos are "very empowering." "They are pushing people out of that last closet," he says. Health experts say tattooing presents no dangers, provided that proper hygiene is observed.

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All is well 

So its all OK...After a few weeks of stress related nothingness... More actually self loathing and abuse of my body like only a gay boy knows how to do....Well it wasn't that bad I did go out a few times and managed to have a few very hot sex nights, one involved a sling at My fave Steam Works...Oh boy the guy in the sling just took it like I like my men very eager, with endurance...And to stur it up a few hot guys got up behind me and took me on a ride to...

And then there is the other night I was on line and was invited over to a guys place, I get there and there are three of them...I was offered a glass of wine and a bottle of poppers how civilized...After a few minutes I was undressed and fucking my brains out till the next afternoon...I tell you some new things I did was WS well not new but a different form of it...This guy liked to get pissed up the but and other places so I obliged it was hot, I don't think my favorite if I'm going to do WS I prefer it to go down the throat, in the but it was a tad messy....Not something I do all the time, I was invited back so I must have impressed with my top skills....All this sex I've been having as of late I'm building up some nice stomach muscles and losing my little bit of fat I had, you can barely pinch a few centimeters...

This weekend its FOLSOM FAIR NORTH III

As many of you know I have helped out with this the past few years and this year is no different, IF you think back to My event I did for COLT studios last year for the premiere of Buckleroos and my most recent client MH )hook up site) this is only a bit of the connections I've made through the fair....A very good event ran by some very special guys.....

This year several of my friends are DJing and performing plus hosting So it's a Family a fair, IN fact my preferred Drag Queen I hire to host my events Miss Conception will host, She has been a part of many things I'm involved with love her....

Looking forward to seeing Kids on TV again the lead John is such a hottie wouldn't mind running into him at the Steam Works....Into being the preverbal word....

Take a listen here to Kids on TV

He is the model for the Folsom Fair North main party Agitator, so sexy

I still haven't done the interview for them for a mag out a LA a friend asked me to do I should look into that project again and get it going......

This year I'm looking forward to seeing some people from past years maybe a few guys I hooked up with and then there are the guys from COLT plus I will be hosting a both for MH looking forward to that I'm hiring go-go boys to assist me now how could that be wrong almost naked men doing my bidding..I'm not complaining...Should be fun fun and well HOT....I foresee a few sex parties that weekend I think I may be at one or two my self if all works well...

So out of the blue I have streaked into the lime light again...Look out my take over is on track slowly but surely never ending always thinking with out a doubt with style....

I'm booking an apointment to go to a punk salon to get my hair done, a friened of mine who edits fashion telivision here at city tv tells me there is a place that all the celebs go to and alternative types to get there stlyes. right now I have a fab do its bleached in the front top is red and then a bleeced out undershaved little bit of a fag tag...remember those its funny I got it done for Pride and I'm seeing others now with them.....I'm going to get my next do done ispired bt the Canadian flag red and white and leafey..Hmmmm I should start posting pics on here some day for ya all to see....semi sudo mohawk still is the styleing preferance

Hey when you go to the site for KIDS ON TV check out the mix my Boy George.....I here he was a scream here in Toronto for pride....Breakdance Hunx, Breakdances and sucks cock...Yah

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Thursday, July 07, 2005

As I sit here at my computer and try to shut out the outside city buzz, the normal sounds like police and ambulance and fire sirens....The thing is I can't just like I can't everythime a plane flies low over the city...My mind instantly wonders to the thought of terror or what has happen...It way be a fleeting thought but its there none the less, this bothers me as they have reached me my life...Seeing it on TV in far of lands, and of course 9-11 that was oh to close has changed us me....I can't help but feel anger towards those who are the terrorists....They have ruined my peace, I admit its not that big on the grand scale my uncomfortably when herring an siren or a plane over head, or is it? Have they got to us are they getting what they set out to do...Do I even know what it is they are trying to do the so called terrorists...

enough this is what they want, to get to me, us....I guess I can only not let them get to me and continue my life...And once again condemn the attacks in London and send my love and compassion to the ones this horrific attacks has touched...

Peace

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To the bombings in London I say this

My sincerest sympathy's go out to England, being in the commonwealth I feel a deepest hurt when any fellow country under the crown is dealt a blow like this...I can only hope that we come out of this stronger and with more resolve to protect our way of life and keep out those who would hurt us....How dare they who ever they are...I don't understand nor will I feel any of us those they are trying to strike down...How could we when they would do such a thing , how could they think we would want to even try to listen to them or to at least understand....

Solidarity with my English brothers for ever....

I come out of this thinking when will they hit here in Canada? I'm scared every time I'm on the Subway here in Toronto, when on it I feel and intense urge to get of the train...Scary I couldn't imagine what they must be feeling now especial when you have to take it I only do when I must very infrequently....

I'm outz

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Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Depressed, not happy...When will I learn.....

So not going the way I want now! up to no good and in all the wrong places.....

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Friday, July 01, 2005

SO its now been five days past pride and I feel ok now, I've not had a good run of it for some reason under stress I go crazy and get scatter brained...

I may have lost one of my valued client's because of some very stupid acts on my part...If I have! It will not be good but I will move on and see what is next as it is a new project has just came to me...So I will remain busy but still
this one is a very big one that I would say any single gay man in the USA would know and log onto all the time to find guys...coulndn't give a hint clearer without saying it....The thing is it was so dam hot here and I had several other obligations I could only be in so many places.

SO now it's on to porn and more porn promos...Have to love that go from major gay hook up site to porn and more porn....

I've been told I will have a few weeks of and that I will or may be replaced from the hook up site....I would be very sad but move on...I do know I will miss the opportunity and the extra income.....Plus the stature in the community that came along with it being able to do all kinds of events for them is very exciting I hope they reconsider and give me another chance...After all I have up till then put in 200% far beyond what was asked for...We will see....

Oh boy speaking about boys the one I met last Monday has been on my mind To bad he is on his way to the UK in a week or so...I do plan to see him again....Wow I am still recovering in certain parts of the body from that hot night of intense and I mean deep nasty over and over again fucking...Mmmm it could not have been a more satisfying way to end the week...Plus he is hot six foot, blue eyes and dark hair...

I think I will invite him out tonight for a night on the town.....And then a party in my bed....Oh I think I may be in lust or heat I do not know..I feel a sex marathon coming on..I seem to go through a spurt where I am a big slut and then nothing..For months...

on another note my right thumb has been numb for a few days now I am not sure what wrong Its like the nerve is damaged and when I put pressure on feels worse it
doesn't hurt but there is something wrong the feeling you get when you go to the dentist...Still some feeling, I am really worried because I work with my hands to a pint and this is not good, could it be HIV related, HIV med related, or pancreas related...Fuck if it's not all that it's my ackeing neck and so on the joys of being old...it seems like only months ago I was in Vancouver that young gay man innocent and wide eyed with opportunity with not a care in the world but where I was going that night and who I would be with..My friends at my side all of us with a lust for life and a passion for men the bars the party..You name it, its all lost it for me now I feel sad now usually and its just not there I really think that I missed something....

I shall get over it I am just depressed, I am doing a good job of keeping out a the bars considering the past few days...In past times like this I would have been drunk and hi to numb my failures and forget my pains....Instead I am letting it out here...

Ok I've been in bed the past few days its time to get on with it and pick up the pieces dust of and get out there and be the leader in this community that I am...

It's just to bad that in a moment of weakness this past weekend I had to hurt my interests in such a way, most often I am the only one affected by a bad move on my part but this time it was a big fuck up and there is I am afraid no moving back...I should add though that the job did get done and the company was very well represented in Toronto for Pride...We will see what happens....

I'm outz

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