<$BlogRSDUrl$> Gay Canadian X Party Boy

Friday, April 22, 2005

Wow I'm so super busy its crazy! but like any gay man I find time for sex! And last night I got my hole stretched out big time! Ouch I can still feel it.....

Remember the guy I was talking about a few times on here that I go home with well I wasn't planning on going to see him at his work but it just happened that he was in the right mood and I was well I'm always when he asks me to go home with him! I know I said I wouldn't again but hey I'm human and I like the guy.....SO as I'm leaving this afternoon he says see you soon!...well I'm the one saying that most times...see you soon, call me...It was nice seeing you, you know the usual suspect hidden meanings, in other words I like you...I want to see you again soon...and more often....that sort of stuff! emotions are a factor....OH boy!

OK I gota get my stretched out ass in the shower and wash his sexy man scent of me so I can go out and get busy, although its raining and miserable out in Toronto tonight! I'd much rather stay in and order some chinese take out! But when your the boss and got lots on the go there is no stopping the beast rain or shine the party beast will never be stopped! Just when you have a record breaking hot day its cold and raining the next the weather here sucks big time!

Ok I'm outs!

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Monday, April 18, 2005

"Did you ever feel like you where missing out? Did you ever feel like you didn't belong? I used to feel that way big time. I thought that by changing the way I looked and dressed I could plug all the gaps in my life! I wanted to be a part of something, anything I didn't care what, I didn't care how, I thought that I could buy a style. A style to change me! Create a new me. Make me some one else. It was only when I realized how wrong I was, that I suddenly saw the person I wanted to be looking wright back at me. Now for the first time in my life I can see what is beautiful and what's really important and its all around so close I just have to reach out and its there, I found my voice! Show me how to use it.."

Cowboys & Angels I just watched it again! It inspires me, I think the guy in it the main character is so hot as well I could watch him all day long the dark hair and the blue eyes that combination I find utterly attractive! His name is Michael Legge, what a hotty!

Look fo r the film here if you are up un downloading Torrents I use Bitlord an easy program to use!

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Thursday, April 14, 2005

Well if you haven't Noticed I've put a link to Rosie's Blog on here You remember her the one who had a talk show a while back! Are most fab lesbian from the Good Old USA! I was reading a post about her and a homeless guy at her BLOG It made me think about the homeless guys that have been on Church street for the past few years like the one who wants to give hugs for change now there are three that have been out there for the past few years I often wonder why they are there now I'm thinking they may have some mental issues and not be all there Seen as I'm out there every night doing my thing promoting I will now look at them in a new way! I was homeless at one time for a few days when I moved to Toronto I forget this and how scary it was for me! Then I think well I did something about it fast why have they not, it must be that they are not all there....Wow makes you think about how you treat your fellow man I won't give them money but hey a smoke or a coffee why not!....Thanks Rosie for the good thoughts!

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Its been two years now here at X party boys Blog, April 10, 2003 to April 10,2005 

Wow It just dawned on me I've been at this for two years now! The longest I've done any one thing at a time that amounted to anything! Hey throw on the party hats its a celebration! Two years one hundred and thirty two posts, eighty five thousand three hundred and nine words written and eighty seven outbound links! Wow that's something in two years lets see where the next two take me...I've been happy to keep you all entertained and amused with my crazy life...Lets see where the next two years take me shall we!
April 10, 2003 to April 10,2005

I'm outs

Hugz to you all!

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Sunday, April 10, 2005

Steam Works and an new VIP at 5ive NightCLub 

So it was off to a private VIP bar opening party at 5ive Nightclub, oh oysters and Champaign didn't like the Champaign so I had a few oysters hob knobbed with all the big promoters and bar Celebes and the like including several people I do bizz with!

So I'm in the washroom powdering my nose and well someone I've had my eye on and more than a few times, I thought about his big chest and so on! Hmmm he grabs me looks up at this point we are in the stall he opened my pants looking up and asks me is this wrong? I'm thinking holy shit this guy is hot one of the most respected well know promoters in Toronto and he is wanting my dick! Ha-ha I'm like are you for real keep going, sure enough he has my # in his phone already and well I'm not going to tell the rest I have no Idea who in Toronto may read this! lets just say I got a good workout at steamworks again! and it was not in the usual place I was taking it all that night!

Oh I forgot the pleasure a man can give you when your in a receptive mood! OK OK I bottomed god dam it and I've thought about it more and more the few times I've been with guys this past week...the thing is I really don't want it to turn into a nasty mess if you know what I mean and I don't go out ever with the idea I should clean out my but, first I don't know?

I am more top but I don't want to be greedy and I have a feeling some of the guys I want are more up to the idea of a more equal role! Being a guy I can understand that? I mean the cock is made for this kind of business! I tend to get my share of guys who look confused when they get me in bed finally they most always think I'm a bottom(go figure there is my hot but getting in the way again! hey I'm as modest as they can come you all know that! but serious I do have a nice but!) and that's not what they most often end up with but the last two guys wanted my but something bad and well if the one from last week didn't pass out on me he would have got it like #2 this week did and boy he got it!

OH K, shower time its time to get out there and sell sell sell no not my but but sometimes I think I should charge the amount of guys that line up for it are sickening! I swear at the baths I had one after another guy ask me to go in there rooms! Couples and one guy came up to me in the shower and said you are amazing sexy He was infatuated with me!, I just wanted to let you know your hot!

Now If I didn't have but hair long enough to braid, and a forest growing on me I would have agreed...come to think of it he had a hairy chest to I'm thinking he liked the fact I am brave enough to go to the bath O natural! Hey I'm not shy when it comes to sex or my body I have a big dick and a very nice but hairy or not the guys line up for me and Its about time I start to take advantage I could have sex ten times a day if I wanted but I don't I've never had a high sex drive and the guys I meet are mediocre its me my insecurities that hold me back.

I get from many guys Hey I thought your a bitch so I didn't come up to you or you intimidated me I thought I was not you type! So in theory if I'm more open less nasty to men more and more attractive men like my self who are shy to will come up to me! Its only logical and I'm getting so many guys hitting on me its insane I'm feeling good and it shows!

Its sad the only guys who are brave enough are the ones who figure I have nothing to loose the worst he can do is rub me off like most guys I'm thinking would to them! I know rude but hey I have to be a bit of a bitch or I'd end up in every ones bed! And there is no time for that only good looking guys need apply! hey I know rude but C'mon I have a wide range in what I find good looking so there!

C'mon if we are all shy than we are all going to end up alone at the end of the night! That's it I'm putting on my sex drive and bringing out the trimmer its time to get my sex on! Screw the ideal of a boyfriend I'm going for as much gratuitous sex as I can get! The guys on several of the sex sites I'm on are so hot the ones who ask me to come over I'm going to start taking it up! And next time two hot twinks ask me to come in there room at the bath I'm a heading in to fuck both of them! Hey I was tired the other night or I would have dam, Ok I'm out and tonight I'm going to get some ass, I'll let you all know how many Monday

Hi all In Vancouver I would love a walk on English Bay, I so miss that place All though it was most times late at night I was there in the bushes doing sorted things! I'm sure if a guy had asked I would have been beside myself to have a walk in the park with them! I like the simple things in life...Good to here from You again! Hey why not start your own blog? Its spring here In Toronto but Vancouver there is nothing like spring there oh I miss it so much I really could move back in a heart beat if I could! I don't think I could handle it though to many bad memories and places to bring them back!

OK I"m outz

Hugz to all in the West

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Friday, April 08, 2005

Jeff, Paul, Chris, and Joe's Funny Internet Stuff Blog 

I had to share this with you all! Its not often that I find comments on my blog out there but this was a nice changer to see! After the last one that I found made it necessary to make fun of my grammar skills and the like it was to funny to find this, a nice break in the day and a good laugh and possible a lot more are to be found at this blog! Oh yes and some I'm not sure about but quite strait guys! WEll I said not sure but none the less I'm thinking this will be on my list of daily stops and something new the first link that is not out and out gay! Hey a concept to think about!!!

click to read the entire post!!!
Gay Canadian X Party Boy
So while I was in Mexico, Laura had another flare up of the old gull bladder. She was in the hospital for 6 or so days and they wouldn't let her eat or drink anything. But they did put her on a morphine drip. Me being the concerned boyfriend that I am, I decided to do a goggle search on gull bladder and morphine to see if there is any side effects to the shit. Leave it to the F'n Canadians to figure out that it turns you gay.



On an other note I'm feeling ok my mood is good and well its crazy for me here lets just say there is only one of me and everyone wants my time! I'm taking over this gay city one big step at a time! Watch out all of you don't be nervous though I'm a nice guy I'll never forget that and the ones who helped me!

Ok I'm off to get my self a tan and oh Ya remember the boy I talked about a few months back the one I've been with of and on the one who works in a bar on Church! WEll I've always liked him lotsss and well he asked me the other night when I was over at his place what are we doing?this was the one of many nights we have been together in as many years, as in are we going to start something a relationship of some kind!

Now this really scared me because this would be the first time in 7 years that a guy I really care about, I have feeling for has made a move...I got very nervous and couldn't tell him what I wanted to I give him hints but I don't know I want to be sure where he is coming from!....The thing is being sober and dealing with this is all new I've never been here before so its like I'm a teen all over for the first time! I'm scared and confused and happy a the same time...

After I'm with him I can't stop thinking about him oh its crazy...I know it should be as easy as asking him how he feels about me I just don't want to ruin what we have if its just a night of sex once in a while I could do that I want more though its a hard spot to be in he is driving me crazy I tell him I care and I want to show him!...oh dam it why is this happening now I need a distraction am I ready for one? Yes I am dam it!

I deserve to show my love! and share my life I have lots to offer and I want to give it now dam it! plus he is poz so its so much easy to be with each other with out the over whelming stress of giving someone you love a fatal illness that could kill them and take them away from you! I've done that once and never ever want to go there again! never!

Ok outz its a perfect spring day in the gaybourhood and I need to get out there!....]

On a total self gratifying ego boosting side note take a look at my sitemeter! 27000 I can't believe that its coming on the 3 years I've been here! Wow You know when I started this blog back when I was very ill and way far from where I am now I'm happy I shared I wouldn't do it any other way! Feel free to let me know you are here with me on my crazy journey through life...27000 and strong and growing hey I'm here I'm open its my life take it or leave it! But please please know this is me and only me its in no way drama or fiction I'm at a loss to how anyone could be so naughty and do such A thing! Keep it real! All my love and life for you to see! I'm here I'm gay and proud!

Ok long winded to So I'm outz for real this time

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Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Pain and more pain 

Ok its been well over a month since my operations and I'm in just as much pain if not more! I'm depressed about this and upset when I think about the ordeal I had to endure to get to a point that is not rewarded at all! I have no gull gull bladder now who knows the side effect of that in the future! I seemto be ok but you never know...

The thing is my gp Doc is determined to reduce my pain med and get me off them but I'm in more pain than ever in fact its not been under control for a few weeks! I really think he thinks I'm just going through withdraws and I'm not I feel fine in that regard its the pain its starting to affect my day today life again and It sucks..last night I started thinking about the future and started crying like a big baby the thought of having them go inside me again for a I've lost count now time is overwhelming and disturbing to me! I want this to be over in fact I'm thinking today after this not working I'm going to ask my Doc to refer me to another surgeon for an second opinion!

He was the best I thought but you never know! Oh fuck is about the state of mind I'm in! I wish all the times I was screwing around with the drugs and booze I had a idea that I was slowly killing my body! It makes me think about the times when I was 17 and would drink an entire bottle of vodka or more in one night plus a dozen plus beer! I was drunk every weekend almost for years I've come a long way now and hardly ever drink not by choice but glad non the less that I'm sober as I can be and not dead or in hospital!

But times like this when things are going very good for me I'm very beside myself and discouraged what next I guess it will be a stint or a metal tube put in me to only have removed in a few months or a plastic tube out of my stomach again fun been there for six months it was hell imagine it a tube coming out of your stomach with a bag on the end that you have to drain fluid out of several times a day that comes from a cyst deep in your body the smell is the worst and the look its black and putrid! Fuck man I'm done here with this I'm of to the doctor the 300 plus time I've been in the past years serious every two weeks for two plus years and now every week! Thank god the hiv is under control undetectable but I wonder this stress I'm getting bad night sweats again I have to get up three+ times a night to change shirts....

please if you have a friend who is lost in drugs and alcohol be there for them help I was left alone by all my friends when I was at my worst wondering the streets of Vancouver homeless at the end alone and so very desperate and scared! At times I hated the world most times I was so out of it I couldn't care! I remember a friend saying it hurt him to much to see me and couldn't put him self through process of me destroying my life! How selfish he was not a true friend, A friend is there thru think and thing Friends should be there to help not matter what or they where never a friend....In the same respect shame on those who sit by and watch people destroy there lives pathetic to worried about there lives to bother to help! shame shame on you! Do something help them to help them selves we only have each other in the world us gay and lesbians traz and the like! We must help each other I've put in 100s of hours at my local aids organization plus been there for friends who have a drug problem! Don't judge them be there support them If that means you have to make some hard decisions do it be strong me a man make the right choice, THINK ABOUT HOW YOU WILL FEEL IF THE PERSON DIES and you do nothing to worried about the inconvenience of it all or your feelings! Someone addicted to drugs is in a state that is so hard to talk about but so easy to help them by just being there in the good and hard times and being a friend that will stand by them and to the right things!

It just pisses me of to no end when I read about people who bitch about drugs and alcohol affecting there lives and them do nothing but let it continue what of it when will it end! At a morgue or worse both you!

At the same time I say a healthy relationship will be the only way to have a normal flow of life put aside the resentment Be strong it will be hard Detox is the only answer if you truly care for your friend who is suffering you are on the right road the first step is there and if you have a problem and need to talk I'm here email me I'll give you my number you can call me I've been there I still struggle every day! Its hard I realize you are in pain it will get better trust me please people out there do care I care I'm here just reach out and I'll help you to help your self!

I get emails from guys who tell me I'm strong and thank me for being out there I recently got an email from a guy in Vancouver you know who you are! Good for you be strong and continue what you are doing realize if you have a weak point that it will pass the most important thing to do is not to loose site of the times you where hi and miserable and that you don't want to go there again! Life is good sober, party responsibly if you can't don't its not worth it! You are a good person I'm happy to have been there for you email me anytime...I'm here for you!

Ok life goes on I now must get ready for my 300 something visit to my doc!

Point made I hope!

peace and love to you all!

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Monday, April 04, 2005

Save Enterprise the show makes me wet I love it! 

"The recent donation of three million dollars to TrekUnited's campaign is unprecedented and stunning. It's additional evidence that Star Trek is much more than a "franchise", it's an inspiration to millions of people... and this makes it worth saving. Keep up the fight. No matter what anyone says, it can be won." -- Manny Coto, Exec Prod., Star Trek: Enterprise

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