<$BlogRSDUrl$> Gay Canadian X Party Boy

Sunday, November 13, 2005

So its been a very nice relaxing weekend for me, other than the fact I am totally into a Man who right now I cannot see. Because he has a complicated situation at home. Its like having a fridge full of food, and you cannot eat any of it, You are starving but its all just out A reach...its locked up....You cannot find the key and are so so very wanting to get in....Strange analogy I know...but hey....You all have come to expect nothing other than that from me by now....

The guy is so tormented I wish I could reach in to his life and scoop him....Transport him to me, and that would be that.....Some men are very easy to get, not that I am the kind of guy who goes out looking...But this one has really got me, so many men have come and gone without me even batting an eye lash at them as they drift through my life ....In fact it seems easy to just be alone but we all do not want that....plus I keep learning day by day we have more and more in common....I can be a bitch and do not have problems meeting men...In fact I try to keep them away most times....Simple self protection mode in effect most times...

But he I do not think knows what he wants, So we are chatting....emailing..I'm waiting for him to figure out what he wants....I remember when I was his age 23 life was much more complicated, I so would have liked a man to want me for more than sex back then....To be given an opportunity to be myself....I feel like an older guy to a point that I think I can now from much learning from my own mistakes take that into a relationship and use it to grow and nurture and love..rather than let it hurt and tear down someone and me....Its all about love and respect...Trust...Love forever, friends forever....You can have both I think. but not one without the other....

Speaking of friends...here is a pic I really like of me....Its of a friend of mine who unfortunately I've lost touch with other than a purely casual basis..In fact he is one of the first guys I told I was poz...he helped me to sort out some very strong anger I had back then...I love him..He is a bit lost the past while I hope he finds his way back to us soon...Us being the circle of friends at the time a few years ago now....

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