<$BlogRSDUrl$> Gay Canadian X Party Boy

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Sometimes I get very curious who reads this?

I'm up to 82 a day sometimes more....

246 posts wow!!!!!! Here at the not so X party boy the past few months....Did I say that well its nothing like I used to be so X could still apply but not as firmly I'd say....The hard core meth and the like days are long past me My old Vancouver days....I'm often curious how many of the guys I used to hang with are still alive I tell you after my months in Hospital I bet many of them are long gone....Its funny well not funny but this all makes me think about the guy I moved to Toronto with....He like I've said here before moved to Montreal days after we go here back in 99, I saw him of and on as he moved here a few years ago...Remember the one I'm sure made me poz....He had a terrible car wreck when he left me here on the streets of Toronto on his way to Montreal, it was so sad to see him with a Cain hobbling down the street....I haven't seen him for months I think he must have gone back to Montreal or is dead who know...It was something when I realized he was poz way back then and lied to me about it to see him here at the local Aids committee...Not that I believe in street justice or anything like that but its hard when you are dealt a blow like he gave me....In fact I have been on the other side like I said I gave my ex of three year hiv...Don't want to go there ever again.....Safe but I tell you all so many guys don't seem to care or want to get it..Make me poz is something I've heard way to many times....I'm thinking about starting a 30 something support group for poz guys...I've met so many the past few months are have several friends who have reached out to me because I'm more open about it than they are they feel safe talking to me..I met this guy a few weeks ago who was in so much need to talk about it it was painful for him to let it out..I was there for him He let it all out and it was good, so many guys are scared to tell there friends and or family and don't want to be seen at the local help charities...SO we need dome kind of anonymous group that can meet every once in a while and talk about are feeling are anger especially to let that out so it doesn't consume us and lead top destructive behavior..So many guys I find including my self just give up on life when they find out and get deeper in there destructive ways....I'm going to go to ACT and talk to them about this Idea I know every one who works there that I need to know seen as I help them out lots....We will see..Any input would be very welcome on here...

Vancouver is in my thoughts lots the past few weeks since my long lost bud Ross from Van called me and emailed me...I tried calling him tonight we are going to talk soon I can feel it....Hugz to you for reaching out to me it mean lots Ross....

I bet it would take days to read them all....I wonder how many have read them all....I bet it would be interesting to meet people who have been reading about me for a long time...I wonder if any of them would be good dating material...Or boyfriends...Not that I'm looking now or really ever was but I'm curious about that blogger gay love could it happen I'm sure it has..Any stories about that send them my way?

My bloglinker is down but should be back up soon Don't worry all my linky love blog friends I'll switch them soon if they don't get it up and running soon....

We do have a good ring going here there are 20 or so blogs that I get hits from every day and vice versa....The gay X blog ring...Some are blogs that where inspired by me and blogs that inspired me two plus years ago now....

I am in awe at the numbers 600+ a week and growing....Sometimes I wonder why so many are doing a google for X party or X gay and the like are they looking for my site...It make sense I don't know....

Anyway all said and done I don't regret this blog one bit...Although I have a feeling one day I may but it will have been worth it regardless.....

So the guy I've been seeing the past week is going...I was drinking a bit too much just trying to deal with the stress of moving and meeting him...He really seem to be into me and not giving up like the past few had fast when they started to know the real me...My health issues and crazy life are hard to bring into any relationship including friends whom I've been very much ignoring...I am making a point to try to see them more and more my friends I need them they bring balance to my life and remind me I'm not alone....As much as I feel usually...

Go figure the week I meet a man whom I am very into I get five count them big huge pimples two on my right cheek and three on my upper left neck plus a few on the back of my neck...Stress and not washing well when you sleep for days it's not a good thing for pimples I guess...I'm over it and now on the move mode. I've been in countless times over my life including as a kid dozens of times with my mother and then foster homes..Nothing I'm not used to it just hits hard at this age not again I think...Please but hey so is life and this move is going to be a good one....I can feel it.....

You know one thing this blog has done is made me or giving me an almost ability to type its crazy I used to be the one finger kind of typist now I can use two hands I still have to look at the key board but its wild I never ever thought I would be able to type now I can...A blog side affect that I'm happy about ....

I'm outz

peace and love...

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