<$BlogRSDUrl$> Gay Canadian X Party Boy

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

See I told you all...

Got up today found a check from my room mate....

Last months rent....

Time to move...


Any way living with a women has been not easy the small sutilties and differing emotions are hard to put together at times....I admit I've been hard to live with ....But Its like I never can bring a guy home the thought of her on the other side of the wall just ruined it....Very thin walls so I was sure to have someone listening....One year I've had four guys over...Twice during the day when she was not home....Hence my many trips to the baths...Could save a fortune if they where out a the picture its 20$ Been at least 10+ times the past few months.

....Oh boy a part of me is happy to move but there is that big part that comes with it looking....I have to look being the problem....I hate moving done it so many times I can't remember how many..There is the stress of not finding a place....Its happened before to me....Homeless is not fun...I'm sure I'll find something...I told the roommate I'm stressed depressed, thought she understood..Nope A friend not, expected some understanding...Not!

You know I don't talk about this much but my father owns a farm in British Columbia....Interior very small place a village in fact....I lived with him for three months when I was 16 or so....Some times I think I want to go there and stay with him I know I could....But I think I would die of boredom....I do Know that When I do get really sick...I may go there to finish my journey....It makes sense begins ending....

Fuck I'm so pissed, when it fucks up it goes in torrents for me....Work issues are screwed now....I'm in debt to many over pride....And now I loose my apartment...I don't think I can take much more of this, as is I can't get out a bed....Now I have to move I think Its about my time soon I really don't know If things keep going like this I don't know how much more I can take....Its all relative and much of it my fault or wrong doing but when when will I learn this life's lessons.....

A good friend of mine is in Vancouver now visiting, wish I could be there I miss it so much...Toronto is just a bore to me now....I have nothing here, a few friends but no one who really knows me.....I think some out here in Blog land know me more than anyone I see on a daily basis.....

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