<$BlogRSDUrl$> Gay Canadian X Party Boy

Saturday, May 28, 2005

I Omit by now I have been feeling a bit bruised and battered in the blogging world, I've licked my wounds and they have healed up scrumptiously. I am back and as cute as ever! LOL Intertextual take note<- :)

Over the years I've had few good friends and many aquantences. One that comes to mind was one of my first gay friends Ross Mcrae I hope I got that right! He was the typical club boy look and attitude of the late 90's early 00's...Tyte pants and little shirts with make up and sparkles! For some reason he hated me and I of course hated him, we where both living in small city British Columbia! The city of Kamloops or as I like to affectionately call it FruitLoops LOL. He was there to go to esthetics school and I was there for University psychology/Sociology double major...

So after months of are sorted leering at one another, You know those typical gay boy trying to look menacing and bad boyish twisting and contorting our faces in all sorts of contemptuous grins trying to look menacing but in truth just looking silly and showing others are maturity and lack of chivalry! I think it was that we where to alike to even think about liking each other, or was it the we where both to pretty to be friends one would out shine the other and we couldn't have that in small city BC where the pickings where slim to nothing as far as men where concerned, unless you wanted grandpa passed out in his car at the local park with his dick in his hand! Not.

My point being is that we some how became friends I think we both realized that it was to small a town to be holding a grudge and fight with each other! We where now officially the Oh look here comes them couple! You know the ones everyone likes to talk about the ones everyone wanted to have sex with and then move on fast! We may have been something to look at twinks! But nothing upstairs made the attempt at relationship tumultuous if not dangerous! It was great we would spend hours together getting ready for the once a month gay dance at a local hall!(wow when I think back at my gay beginnings I'm amazed I made it out a there!) I would allays wear his clothes, seen as he was the big city boy and was the it guy as far as what a gay boy was to be adorning his blossoming gay viral young sexually charged and most definitely a young man who was exuding sexuality!

I shall never forget the bond we had! I learned so much from him, after a year or so he gave up on the hair and make up school and had enough of Kamloops and moved back to Vancouver! If it wasn't for his friendship I would have still been in Kamloops I'm sure! We talked on the phone all the time! He asked me to move to Vancouver, So I in a relationship that was not working and a heart that was bleeding over the loss of my first love, whom I still think about when I'm alone and feeling lost! He gave me a comfort and feeling of selflessness I struggle to find again! Anyway I packed up took my student loan money and took off! My first Bo that lasted a few weeks when I first came out a year or so before all this came up from Vancouver and moved me to Van and my first apartment at the corner of Denman and Haro Downtown Vancouver! 1865 Haro I shall never forget that place it's where I found my self and lost everything all in a few years! What a change to my new home Toronto! I miss the ocean! Hey we have a lake here but it smells bad!

I love Google maps check ou this satellite pic of my old building in Vancouver and this one of my new one in Toronto!

Here is a pic of the City of Kamloops I must admit I miss the simple life sometimes! Its a beautifull mountain city, I had some of my best years there! And I'll never for get the riverside park and my many nights there in the bushes!
While I'm at it I should show you all a pic of the strip here in Toronto.I've lived in 6 plus buildings in a few block radius from here in the past 5 years.

So Ross took me under his experienced gay wing and tried to guide me through the big city life style and urged me to make decisions in a good way! IE drug use. After several months of three of us sharing a place and my now working at The Odyssey, I loved that Job more on that place later, So I was not listening to his warnings about the party, to top it of there where several boys who he had known who where hitting on me or making conversation with me who he had had or had most assuredly wanted to have, opps our old rivalry hatched its ugly self again! True I loved it that boy he had wanted or that he had even been in a relationship for a few years wanted me! In fact one of them lives here in Toronto and I see him all the time! I think his name is Kevin! If you find this Ross email me I would love to see you I miss you! Are old ways and his words of warning where too much for me and we lost what was once a good friendship! I think things would be different now, I was to young and wanted everything at once. He told me once that he couldn't sit by and watch me destroy my life, it hurt him too much that I didn't take what he said seriously! I did but the truth was after being alone for so many years to have this new found popularity was over whelming for me a drug in its self! I was hooked instantly to the boys the night life, the drugs the booze! It was all no one was going to stop me no one!

This brings me to my for a very short time Blog rival Vividblurry! Like I said I linked to him some time ago, he reminds me of myself seven years ago in some ways, remember people I'm only 31, I was very happy to get an email from him apologizing very sincerely for his post! I responded by asking if this was a joke and he saved face by genuinely being apologetic!

Some times friendships come out of the most difficult beginnings! I know it was a bit heated and I was a bit reactionary! Its somewhat like hey don't you dare I've been there and know what your thinking! Once a twink You keep part of that mentality even if your 31 one now, I've been there done that as they say!

Here is a few excerpts from his emails you decide for your self there where some very strong words in the comments, I say to you all that they may have been very valid and his comment about HIV was below the belt, but I'm willing to forgive and move on...Who knows this could be a new and enduring side to his personality! I guess we will see!

Toby of Vivvidblurry wrote to me

I'm sorry for writing that nasty entry about you.

It was mean spirited

I hope I did not hurt your feelings. :(

I'm slowly getting better at not being so quick to judge, and I'm sorry for taking things out on you.

I must admit I didn't see this coming and, well I'm glad to see it happened. I'm keeping an open mind, Like my above mentioned friend Ross you never know where a relationship spawn from conflict can go!


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