<$BlogRSDUrl$> Gay Canadian X Party Boy

Thursday, March 31, 2005

I'm mp3 portable 

I love it I got it I'm happy! I spent over 500 on Tuesday! It felt good...I get a hi from shopping that is joy!

The Ipod shuffle is fab 1 gig is more than enough...the fact there is no screen is not that big a deal I just push the little button, plus I can remember after a few plays the order of the songs also they can be placed in a certain order...

I've spent the past 3 hours loading it! I wasn't to happy with the autofill only because there are several 100 songs in my playlist I don't care enough for to listen on the move to!

I also got my self a fab lined black leather summer jacket with red stitching and a red lining! Love it!

It goes well with my fo mohawk with red highlights I spent 100 bucks on my most expensive hair do ever! It looks freaking good and I do say so!

Ouch I spent the later part of my shopping day at the baths Steamworks! I actually took a guy home not after trying a double penetration for the first time it was harder than I thought after the third time with as many guys we decided to or I decided to keep the guy to myself and take him home for a hot night of sex or should I say day! IT was a full on 8 hour sex fest! I'm sore every where on my body places I've been neglecting for far to long! The guy freaked me out when he started talking about boyfriends and I got cold! There is a fine line for me when it comes to a night of sex and a boyfriend! I mean what is good for a night of sex is not necessarily good boyfriend material!

Ok Im outz

after a good sleep I need to go clean this guy of me ouch did I say that!

I have to learn not to give my real phone # out I told the guy I'm a day sleeper did he get it No! Next!


Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Apple 1GB iPod Shuffle 

Ok I'm buying this I'm doing it and I'm going to love it! watch out you boys on church for me strutting my stuff down the street singing my songs! I can't wait I'm going to be tonight surely dreaming of IPods! And thanks to my sweet new promo gig I'll have it paid for in a flash or the mula replaced asap...No starving for my music! I've been thinking long and hard about this kind of purchase I bought a cdmp3 player and had nothing but trouble with it couldn't burn a dam cd so I took it back! I figure I spend about 200 plus a month on cabs and nothing really I need so I'll cut that out as well!

I was going to buy a creative 20gig but I don't know it seems like to many songs from what I see from the reviews I've read you can fit 200+ on it seen as I tend to listen to long remixes I'm thinking evan if its 100+ songs it'll do for a night out on the strip doing my thang!

Ok Its of to bed and dreams of my day with my tunes on my side again! Nummm I'm pumped about this thing!

any comments on this would be apreciated

I'm outz!


Sunday, March 27, 2005

Blow My Mind! 

Ok I'm no longer gray! I have had the dye for weeks and have finally got over my laziness to do it! Black Oh my good what a shock from red to black it looks so weird to have a normal hair colour!

Ok I'm getting old Feel old! I'm alive I'm thankful much impart to myself for stopping to hurt my self! I wonder if I didn't get HIV and then my pancreas issues would I be alive now? A friend of mine now ex I may add after helping him all last summer with work has succumb to drugs and is now on the verge of homelessness..

I'm upset I warned him to slow down I stopped the cash flow in order to help but it was to no avail! He being poz telling me he is full of lesions Like I should feel sorry for him! I feel sad that I couldn't get in to his head he is 10 plus older than me to! I will see him in the Hospital I hope when he gets there if he lives he will go to rehab! I see myself in him in the future if I hadn't smartened up! Sad boys if your poz take care of your selves what dp we have to do to show you the way if you play hard your going to end hard!

I saw a site that is all about some guy who talks about his life on Meth I tell you people stay far away its bad stuff If you are the kind of guy/gal who can say to them selves I only use once a month or so your still at risk of addiction! Its so powerful and it kills I see several of the party boys from last year they come out now very infrequently because now they look like hell it robs you of your youth and kills your organs your teeth its poison! Trust me I know I know very well! If you must party do some coke or an E but don't mix it with booze! Oh ya and if you must do G stay away from booze like its poison trust me I was a big fan at one time overdosed and woke up in Hospital after my heart stopped three times I was naked and alone and in sorry shape it took me hours to remember who I was IT was one of the worst times of my life! now six plus years in my past thank you very much who ever cared for me at that after hours or I would have been dead long ago!

Ok now I'm outz

Party responsibly and don't listen to the ones who would tell you its ok to party every weekend its not its not a life its something else I'm sure you can figure out what I am saying! hint a cry for help! someone who needs to find them selves don't wait till you hurt your self to the point there is no return!


Thursday, March 24, 2005

Well another weekend here and I'm off to do my thing! Its all about promotions I tell you!

Its going to be crazy this year! I'm thinking I may only get here once a week or so! I'll try more but after this past few days I need all the rest I can get, the last three days in bed trying to get over last weekend with a cold and the cold outside it was harsh! Ya hoo its getting warm...I'm for sure going to go to Mexico next winter if I'm asked! I'm going for sure why turn down a job and the warm weather and a place to stay! If I'm healthy I'm not staying here and doing this cold again No way!

I'm out to get ready put on my war paint and hit the streets and clubs for a night of crazy! Its funny I see so many boys that have been up to it for a few years now wow they look old now! I'll be 32 this year I'm lucky my body didn't age like some do! Or will it happen very fast I hope not! Its out tomorrow to the salon to have my fave lesbian hair do girl die and cut! I';m going to go for the foe Mohawk that is of to the side with my head shaved on both sides and half my bangs cut off! IT looks cool sort a like the European boys you see in punk porn films Yummy! I think It will be red again to like fire engine red! Hey I like my crazy hair doos I grew up in a hair salon!

Ok I have to get ready for a night of full on craziness! I think I may hit a few after hours to to spread the word around about a sweet web site I'm promoting! Its all about the sex and boys at the end of the night You know IT! A friend of mine is hosting Junior Vasquez tonight at an after hours Boa I should get in no problem! I love looking at all the hot boys and the music is cool to dance to when your not hi and or drunk you just jump in and start rubbing all the hot boyz! Hmmm Nummy!


Sunday, March 20, 2005

Ok one day I'm feeling good the next pain what is going on here! I am so at times frustrated Why did I deserve to get my organs fucked up! Hmm abuse your body pay the price I keep telling my young gay friends this keep it up you will pay! If I could I would do it over again where is the line you cross when its just to late? If I could figure this out then hey why? Fuck is it going to be this convoluted my entire life?

I think, ahead one step but my body just fights me. I'm pissed tonight out in the cold as yet another day goes by and I'm feeling worn out?

Its not about the money anymore I have what I need I live I eat I get by! Its more than that I just hope I figure out the equation before its to late!

Ok one reason why I'm upset is I still have this dam cold and I just noticed that one of the wounds from my operations now is herniated Yah Hoo and the pain all be it is less is still there One day more than the other! I was hoping it was going away I feel now that its certain the operation was not successful! Now I have another hernia and a few more scars on my stomach! Yuk!


Thursday, March 17, 2005

The Beatles I love em If I need A pick me up who needs the drugs or booze I just sit in front of MY computer blast the tunes! Ya you don't get me!

What I'm listening to The Beatles Medley Stars on 45 "Get Back to where you once belong!" Oh I need your love babe yes you know it true hope you need my love babe just like I need you! Hold me love me aint got nothing but love eight days a week!

Now why can't we have a band like that to call are own again! I love the old just be happy songs!

Life is good I'm feeling good less down days the more I seem to be up rather than down! I have a big feeling that it is the fact I'm on less and less pain meds the more time goes by! If its something else I keep telling my self this in hopes it makes it easier to get of them!

I'm busy as I can be Don't push it I tell my self Just be careful not to over do it! Don't get greedy! I did that last year I was over booked and hopelessly tired I just want it all is that to bad! You know there is so much money to be made in the gay community its really sickening if the guys who go out ever found out they would be shocked I'm just scratching the surface and its nothing to laugh about....Hey why not!


Wednesday, March 16, 2005

I'm Not In The Money! 

OK I'm over the cold I think or am I still on the meds side effects I tell you the night day cold pills can throw you for a loop!

Well I'm planning a trip this summer to NYC in July, I love the city who wouldn't? Not sure how I will afford it but I'll figure it out! This will be the first vacation I've been on that I will have planned out in over 10 years that I would be on my own the trip to LA was all planned and paid for by Viacom and the trip to NYC last year was all planned out and not what I would have done if I was in charge...

I want to see the sights the things I grew up seeing on TV.. I'm thinking about staying for 5 days and seeing all the sights! I really can't afford it but hey I'll starve myself if I have to I need to get away and see the world while I'm still healthy and able to! Hey anyone that I know there want to host me or hook up while I'm there please let me know I'm clean and cute at that!

Some one reminded me the other day that the most important thing you need to do is see the world, I just wish it was that easy! I need to start buying lottery tickets or maybe go to the casino and try my luck a friend of mine was there a few months ago at one of the local Toronto ones and won 1700 with only 20 you can't go wrong there! But I know its not that easy, I wish I could have been born into money wouldn't that be fab!

Any one out here want to help me let me know I could use it!, things can be very frustrating at times!

Ok I need to get my ass in the shower and clean out my belly button its still infected from the operations dam thing I thought it looked good and all of a sudden it started to leek puss and blood I hope it doesn't get worse Its fucidin cream and more pills in hopes it gets better soon! Not good for the love life or lac there of to have and infected belly I tell you!


Sunday, March 13, 2005

Well I had a very insightful post full of my bitterness towards winter a bit about me and then some more about me but it was lost so this is it for today! I'm tired and got me self a cold not impressed with the who ever irresponsible mother fucker who decided what ever they had to do was so important that they had to go out and give others there sickness how shameful!

I am so fucking unlucky!, I am horribly absolutely disgusted to have run into them and get what ever this is! Thank you to whom ever it was for being so stupid and greedy to go out and spread your nasty sickness to me screw you and who ever got this thing first! Wash you hands people and stop going out when your sic and giving it to people like me who are not easily able to fight A cold off! Thank You very much! Blah fuck dam it screw them all today! Ok I'm done sorry about that!

other than this I'm very happy and very busy I hope to be here some times but not as often as I was the past few months!

Hugs and big kisses to all!

A special hi to Jer in Montreal note the unconventional paragraph breaks there for you!


Saturday, March 12, 2005

Being the social butterfly that I am and being good at it why not get paid to tell everyone where to go online to find sex and where to go out to have fun or where to be! Make sense? Promoter Hope that answers you questions! Who would want that job not me! I have to be some what private and protect my interests! Don't I....Dumm D dumm dum Dum!

that's me I'm allays careful not to put my hands in dirty bad places! Not only did I get a bunch of silly dirty bottom boys the other Night a shay Steam Works I seem to have got my self a cold a head runny nose kind! Dam it fuck I hate winter I do I really really Do Go away If I could make the earth move a bit faster around the sun Hey I would! Good for global warming I say burn up every thing lets heat this place up a bit! Why not I have air conditioning! Out nights doing my thing who cares!

Well Not but when its been cold and wet and muddy and dirty and salty Oh its going to be a super duper good day when its not freezing out there! I spend my nights out side doing my thing telling every one where to be And its cold really freezing! The stupid dum ass fag I am Did I ware sensible shoes last night? No

NO nope nada not me ! So I have to learn ware warm shoes when out side in the snow You think I would know better growing up in the mountains in British Columbia where its cold and there are mountains of snow every where! Now thinking back even then I would ware sneakers Oh some times you just never learn your lesson! Life is funny that way!


Thursday, March 10, 2005

Winter is really getting my mood down its cold and wet and there are piles of snow every where! I'm starting to keep myself busy but when its cold out I'm not liking it as much!

My reputation in this community of getting the word out is starting to spread like wild fire! Happy about that!

New place Great place I recommend it when here in Toronto every time I go once a month or so I get very very lucky!. There is something about the place!, the guys are all sexed up.

For some reason last night was not the night for me that I usually have there!

After a bad night at a local bath I've given up on the sex life again for a while! Soon as I got there I realized its been a while since I trimmed the body plus I'm still healing from the operations and well it was a waste of 20$ Its funny with in 2 min of getting in to the place I had my dick up some guys but! Not one I would have wanted if I had first pick on who I could have had! So I do some looking around there is some hot action going on this guy has three in his room the next thing I know he is like you want my friends but! I'm thinking ok! So he comes in to my room the first time I've had a double room! No hi or hello its just legs up in the air! Then I smell something if you know what I mean..Like most guys I know this is sometimes a problem and like most guys I know when it will and what to do about it or not what to do! Anyway I told the guy he needs to shower and that ended that!

What is it with guys who want to bottom and there just not ready for it, it was not just him it was the first guy to I was with! I lost interest watched some porn on the TV in my room and made it home for 6am....The second guy smelled so bad it was noticeable the moment he was in my room! C'mon why can't they shower do something! Now I'm not often a bottom but when I do I clean my self good! Just got me all turned off! So after thinking about it I realized it was not me that was really the problem! I don't feel I should have to shave my body hair off all the time! Trim yes in some places but I can't really be bothered I'm hairy like it if not to bad! Next!

Ok I'm trying to get my sleeping in order for the next four days busy busy Its transition night I'm up late so I can stay up the next four night to get some things done in the Village! Its 5am I'm wide awake I slept all day missed my ups shipment oh boy I couldn't hear the phone ring unless its beside my head when I'm sleeping nothing wakes me up, the phone is in the living room that the buildings buzzer is on so I can't here the dam thing if I miss my parcel today I'm screwed so I have to make sure I get this time!

Ok guys please tell all your bottom buddy's that when they are at the baths to clean out there buts please! Thank You IN a city that is supposed to be bottom central I would hope it was just a bad night for me and I picked the wrong guys SO is it just that I was there on a bad night or is there some kind of problem here! I don't know irritated in Toronto!

one last thing its now over 25 000 that have hit this site! Wow many don''t stay and look around that's ok but to everyone that does and comes back, thanks!


Monday, March 07, 2005

The Vapor Trail
Random Brutal Love Master (RBLMm)


Sunday, March 06, 2005

Can you say total day reversal!

Nights are now days, days are now nights!

The things I do for Money!

I love this, Now I love my Bacon! Really want to try the Apple-Wood Smoked Cinnamon Bacon! Sounds absolutely Nummy!

Bacon Whores! Only in the USA would you find such a thing! I love it!


Thursday, March 03, 2005

Just a victim of your own past!

Its a funny thing about the past the way it keeps chasing us no matter how fast we try and run away

Now we put the nightmares of the past behind us taking solace in the fact that it was not the memories that are making us sick but the people that caused the memories! Time will heal us! Yes with time the memories will fade away but that doesn't mean any of us will ever forget! Would it be easier to just forget! I don't remember vast parts of my past! By choice I know, what if they do come back, What if I remember! What then, what if I've forgiven and find I shouldn't of!

As I posted I have Been thinking about my father my family! As fucked as they are I can't help but think about it when I'm told by friends who don't understand my past! There your family, you only have them! Yes but I'm not dead I'm here Why should I find them again! They fucked up every time! I know your not born with a guide to parent! I'm a smart man I know about nature versus nurture! You mother and father should have had that parental bond that would protect me no matter what! The instinct is strong in women to nurture and protect in fathers...Yes they where children when they created me! But still there is something something that happen that keeps me from forgiving them! I after years of hurting my self in a way trying to end my pain, the more time that goes by the more I see..I'm scared very afraid what will come back to me! The thing that scares me the most is not finding a reason, could it be my own doing my entire life! This is it am I coward for forgetting not remembering! When I posted about my father the other day, after I lied in bed crying not wanting to think about it! It wouldn't stop then I thought this was never an issue when I was sober! This is something I'm not sure I can do alone, this blog helps me the people who share with me do as well! But I feel like I may slip back To a life of numbness! So I am going to go to my local counseling I was there before when I left the crazy ex I was ordered by the court to take anger management among other things! It helped I was very reluctant to cooperate but in time I opened up! It stopped the moment I did the time! But now I think I'm ready again! This is very hard for a psychology/sociology major to admit!

I will stop bye its only a few mins away up the street! I love living in Toronto within three blocks there is everything I need!


Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Hmmm What do we think of corporate welfare!

I just learned thanks to the news that my province and my federal government just gave GM something like 435 000 000 million dollars Now why can't they do something like that for affordable housing! Hmmm

This is a US multi billion dollar corporation! Maybe the fact that we are now producing more cars than the state of Michigan is this international competition! I guess a 2.5 billion project will produce lots of jobs but what of the environment do we really need more car factory's! I wonder when money will stop being the thing
that runs our society and the health of the planet is the concern! I know living in Canada that we are on track with this and slowly moving away from polluting the world! But when you have a neighbor who wont help it seams pointless at times You think lead by example but when they look up here and think we are all A bunch of deviant who are screwing everything that walks with a joint in one hand and a gay partner wedding ring on the other! I don't know it all sounds fine to me but I'm not leading the USA...WE can only hope that the youth who are coming up the young worldly educated citizens of the whorld who are growing up online who see the world in a more open and larger reality than just there country! Its wonderful to think that the youth who are growing up have access to so much information that one day they will be running things! I see it already the change in popular culture, the young guys on TV the ones with tattoos and piercings! You wait mark my word its already happening there is going to be a new renaissance in the world a World as one and not divided! We just have to wait till the old school leader die of and are replaced bye what reality is! Its a good thought and something to hope for!

Gray be gone!

A Few friends are like your gray! One friend who was at the hospital to visit me said oh my look at that gray! Ok I have lots of gray hair, even a gray nose hair or two plus my chin is going more and more gray! It was funny it started with two gray whiskers then slowly very slowly its two big patches now one! My head is gray all around the sides and slowly at the top! I'm not yet salt and peeper as they say but its close out side in the sun it look's almost...So I'm not bleaching it this time or fire engine red, I'm going black! There is something I find very sexy about a guy with fair skin and black hair So I'm going there! Ah I wish I could put up a picture here but Ummm No its bad enough several people I know read this Well not really but I should maintain some anonymity! After some of the horror stories I've read about other bloggers I think its only prudent to be some what anonymous!


Tuesday, March 01, 2005

I really have to stop watching sad movies at 5am!

I've got tears rolling down my face after this on!

Rights of Passage

You can find it at the Gay Torrennet site listed in the previous posts!

Oh boy It is every gay boys sad story about the father he never had mine to!

I met him when I was 16 or so lived on the farm for a month or so worked in the family business! I should be a third generation farmer! My mother was the rich city girl who's father retired early and bought the ranch took his family out of the big city None of them where to happy! My father was an employee of my mothers dad! I came to be my mother of 15 pregnant! My grandfather disapproved! My father disappeared....I never new him he was made aware by me after years of learning bits and peaces! I later found out that he kidnapped me took me to Mexico and Florida and California! I was missing for months! My mother had at this point met my sisters father! She betrayed my father and tricked him to get me back only to put him in jail for taking me! I was told he used to drive around the block I lived in for years looking at me but was forbidden to know me! I was made aware years later that I had known my grandparents on my Fathers side my entire life but not there true identity! I have cried many times this film made it all flood back! I have no memory of being with my father! I was told that my mother left him because he was sick had been in a bad car wreck and was never the same! I don't know! I do know that he for years tried to see me and my mother wouldn't let him! With my stepfather who's name I have who I hate who rejected me and everything I am at an early age as well as my sister he abanded when my mother left him! When I was still a boy! I wish sometimes my mother left me with my father I would have had so much of a different life! I would be in touch with my native ancestors that was denied me that I still know very little about! After meeting my father by my own doing after searching for him after my half sister told me she could set it up! We look the same, we are almost identical! I couldn't relate to him! He is a simple person a farmer who only knows that! I tried in vain to talk with him but it was impossible! I was still in the closet but anyone could tell! I tried for a few months to get to know him! I talked of city life he talked about tractor's! I have stayed awake night after night cursing my mother wishing she had left me alone with my father! Why she took me from a family who loved me this I found out when I meet some of them including an aunt! I see it in there eyes the love I never felt from my so called family! I've lost contact with them! I only wish I could relate more with them! They would have me living in the middle of no where! In a village in the interior of British Columbia! I tried I did! I stayed with my father for 4 plus weeks I saw my baby carriage that lied where it was put the last time I was in it! I saw the motor cycles my father had bought telling me how he wished us to travel across country together one day he told me how every year he would bye gifts for me! Oh but try as I could he would only go so far! I wanted to here why he was not there why he didn't try harder to be there! I know he was forbidden! But what about the time I was in foster homes why didn't he try and find me...I was sad bitter in a way disappointed at the man that stood in front of me! The man who looked just like me! I wanted to reach out and for him to hold me at this point I was on my own at the age of 17 scared looking for anyone who cared! I had been alone most of my life surviving struggling to care for my sister while my mother was lost in drugs and alcohol! So after finding my father I wanted I expected so much! I don't know how much he knows of my life I want to tell him how do you tell some one about a life of pain your father that was not there! How do you tell him and not feel anger!

Now though across the country the state of my life now I want to try again! In vain My thoughts are! I can't see a way of ever getting there! I wait, I may reach out again to him! After failing last time, I will let him come to me! This time I will tell him how I hurt let him know who I am and hope he will be there this time! I so want him in my life I should tell him! I tried once before! I don't want to be left alone a third time! I f I could I would go find him again! But its just not possible I can not just travel across the country when ever I feel its to complicated my life! My health is what scares me none of them know anything about me now I'm scared something will happen to me! And that I will not ever get a chance to see them again!

I don't know what to do so as I do and have for years I will forget and move on only to be reminded of what I don't have every day left to explain my life to people who don't understand why Im here and I don't talk to my family! I say my friends are my family but in the back of my mind deep in my heart there is something missing! The father I yurn to know the family I so want to reach out to! But the pain that they have given me holds me back, I don't want to let them hurt me any more! But a part says be brave let them have another chance...

I don't know what to do ever! So I forget like I said and move on!

Now If hundreds of thousands of American are moving here or are thinking of it I say come one come all! But this is to funny! IF this ever happens not that it would but it should say United Provinces/States Of Canada, I think how could such two radically different ways to run your government ever join! I guess it would be one way or the Other! Seen as they would be joining us it should be Provinces No! I think So!

If you are thinking about Immigrating up here you will need to pass this test I did it and am ashamed to say I wouldn't be let in But I'm here so who cares but really its hard I bet many Canadians wouldn't pass with out studying!

Here are some tips you will need for the first few days here! Hey but don't worry all you Yanks its very much similar here! We got lots a fast food joints thanks to you all! We tend not to be as fat up here but that's all changing fast so hey come join us and get married just don't bring your guns with you! We don't take to kindly to the guns up here! Don't forget your warm stuff! If you don't like the cold move to Vancouver, but don't look for a big gay party town if you want that come to Toronto or Montreal!
If going to Montreal don't worry about the French thing! You will need to learn some French but most speak English and I found when I was there everyone was very friendly! Look I've done all the work for you or at least a good start! Now there is no excuse if your thinking about moving to Toronto give me a shout I'll show you around town!

And finally an American I would say who understands us to much! We are always ready to make fun we know we have it good up here!

For a rather funny point of View I offer you this link! Its not to far off and is a good site!

We are among you down there! Hmmm I didn't know half them are Canadian!

Ok it goes on and on but here is where I found several of the link in this post a well made article and funny at that! Read it please its good! If your from the USA its a good article to read to get to know us its for you by you all! I love this stuff!


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