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Thursday, January 27, 2005

Are not things supposed to get better as you get older?

Sometimes I really would like to know why my life had to turn out the way it did!

More than likely being born to a teenage mother has a lot to do with it!, the thing that gets me every day is why I can't seem to get out of this continuous cycle of nothingness! I keep trying I'm starting to think I don't know how to get what I want in life! So after I heal from my operations next month I'm going to make a point of trying new things, new ways of getting what I want in life! First thing would be to figure out what I want?

The only possible answer is that what I'm doing now is not working, so the obvious thing would be to change do the opposite! I don't know why couldn't it be easier?

You see I didn't think I would make it this long! I had planned on drooping out of this world long ago! The path I was on was a one way street to killing my self! Now that I seem to not be dead from HIV and have managed to get of the the booze and drugs! I'm starting to ponder a future that I never had before! Make sense? I was a day to day guy allways only concerned about the next night out! Now that I see a future for the first time in years I don't know what to do!

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