<$BlogRSDUrl$> Gay Canadian X Party Boy

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Great Gad it's snowing here in Toronto!

Blah! Is al I can say to that! And oh ya how many shoes and pant will be trashed this year from salt on the dam roads!

So I've cleaned up my links to the right on bloglinker! I'm a bit concerned as to how long one should wait to remove a blog if the author is no longer posting? Hmmm! Any suggestions on that on!

So I'm feeling good today! Thinking about putting my but to work, Hmm no I couldn't but the offers of 100's a dollars to have sex with some one is tempting when one has overstreched there budget! Winter I swore I once said when I lived in Vancouver I would never ever live in a city that way cold and look her I am! Glad to be be here, please don't misunderstand me its just cold and dry and wet....I have a friend well several friends who are now in Mexico for the winter, I was invited to go Hmm thinking I may just try it out! I don't know...One would need a full time sugga daddy opps I mean Job to do that!

Sp its a big weekend here in Toronto for The Leather community! Mr Leather Toronto! Ya ...well I'm not a leather guy persay, but sure do like the looks and sex well I could tell ya all some stories!

I'm outz


Tuesday, November 23, 2004

F.E.M.A Hmmm wonder who or why this domain showed up as a hit to my site?

Oh silly Me I know why I was going over the net and looking into key words to put in my meta tags and put in George Bush among other very popular search words as of late! Hmmm thinking I should take them out!

Funny never thought of what I could be attracting to my blog!

Have you put meta tags in your blog? I suggest it I get 100's of hits a week from them!

try this site it worked well for me and at the time it was the only one around there are several out there http://submitexpress.com/metatag.html

Ok its not by my choice more by my poor behavior in the financial department, I do have to declare I have gone with out my daily box of fruit loops for three days now!

I swear last night I was constantly thinking about the fact I didn't have five friking dollars to go buy some! Was it the fact I was broke that I am upset about or am I on a fruit loop addiction withdrawal here!

Fruit loop count till this day is 2 this week and at least 4 last week

total fruit loops 6 boxes as of today
other miscellanies cereals
Corn Pops 1 box 2 boxes in the past few weeks

I tell ya I'm out there to get money owed me and the first thing I'm doing is getting me a box of them tasty lovely round fruity loops!

So now that I've told you all about my self in a more delving profound way lets get into my brain further shall we!

So after feeling incredibly sorry for my self and coming to this realization, I'm not well and I need to focus on my health first and forth most or I wont make it another year! I feel it! So its the bed for me and rest for the foreseeable future! I was so in the not the past few days I spent five days in bed only getting up to eat and take my meds go shopping for Fruit Loops, I tell you that shower I took when I finally did, felt good it was incredible I had almost got used to that nasty smell, you guys I'm sure know what I mean if you have been not so inclined to bath for a while it gets nasty! So I'm feeling good today the pain is minimal from my pancreatic cysts and the hiv seem to be ok, that I can tell by how swollen my glands are in my face under my chin! When I push my self and feel stressed they are the first thing to let me know I'm pushing it! Any poz guy/gal will relate to me on that one!

So life goes on, I really am serious about my life though, You have to be well to have a life and I tell you I've worked to hard to loose what I have to party party again if you know what I mean! Anyone watching the news the last few days will know what I'm talking about, its not for me...I learned that years ago in Vancouver! Trust me I am to good to go down the rode and hang of the old chandelier again if you know what I mean! Because if I let my self go down this time I know there will be know coming back!

So its time to clean house the only way to get bad things out is to get rid of them in your life! So no more Party Promotions for me for the time being! I had thought that I could work out side of the club scene sort of on the side lines! Make some extra cash and get on with it! But trust me its not that easy! Its very self evident to anyone who has been there! IF you work a party you are around the party people! There are the smart ones out there who make all the cash and have fab life's avoid the drugs and alcohol basically make hordes of cash of others addictions ect! Trust me I struggled with the morality of it all pushing parties and bars and then thinking about all the guys who are going down the path I have! It burns my ass big time I have been the utmost of a hypocrite and I have to get on it and fix everything again!

Cleaning house! Yes I am!

First thing I'm doing is, Well done it cleaned out my Body! Thank God I'm ok
Second delete delete phone #'s trust me the ones you call when you are out at a club and you what that little extra sumin sumin! Gone!

Plus all the hanger on types that I supported this summer by giving them work...Nothing but dependent drug addicted go no ware fools with no life's Harsh yes put when you are telling a 42 year old to get out a bed and get to work at noon there is something wrong there please yell at me again for calling you to get your ass out a bed! Nope...Gone....Back stabbing bitches all of them anyway who needs them! Done it been there your out a here!

Work, I'm still going to help out with fundraising events and continue to give to my community! I'm proud to say I have helped bring in Thousands upon thousands of dollars to my community, Mostly to The Aids Committee of Toronto and The People with Aids Foundation of Toronto...This will never stop in fact I'm doing research into starting a huge kick ass celebration of life next pride here in Toronto and I hope to make tens of thousands of dollars for Aids research and to give to my community once again! Its going to be big and new and Fab trust me! Look here for updates on the biggest event ever to hit Toronto next year! During Pride 25,2005 here in Toronto!

So its something like this when I talk about house cleaning
I've been not well this last week spent all last week in bed! I'm ok this week, Slowly feeling ok..Its a combination of several things like my pancreas(pain) and other health issues and on top of it I've been very down the last few weeks can't seem to get out of the blues I've been very upset with several people I've had around me of late mostly work related issues....I've just been upset with the and not impressed with the kind of people I find myself around, mostly the bottom feeder as I'm calling them that worked me this summer for most of the money I had coming in and not doing there jobs and expecting money and I found that once the work was not there these so called friends are not around and now spreading rumors around the community even to my doctor among others, this one a particular problem, I've helped some of these guys beyond most this past summer and now find myself being spit on! To make a long story short I've reevaluated my friendships and who I choose to have around me and now find myself some what at peace although some what feeling a bit tattered for the experience....

This is my new and I think good attitude, the way others will be treated by me! You give to others and to me and then I will give to you! Some thing like that! If you are my friend that's all I need but if you suck my energy you are gone! No thank You I'm #1 and that's that! So this is not something I have not figured out in the past just seem to forget for some reason! I'm a nice guy and there fore let my guard down to many times! You know that friend you have who talks to everyone, you get the looks like why are you with him or your to good for them ect. Well I'm not letting them bring me down and I refuse to get bitter, just a little more careful and just a tad more judgmental I have my life at stake here stress can kill a guy who is poz fast and I don't need it so with this reinforced philosophy on board and loaded in again I'm out there to live life and spread happy happy around!

want to see what I'm lookin at online its not light reading but what I get of on the human brain, study of us ect.

Oxytocin (OXT), a neurohypophyseal hormone, may act as a neuromodulator on dopaminergic neurotransmission in limbic-basal forebrain structures to regulate adaptive CNS processes leading to drug addiction.

I'm outz


Monday, November 15, 2004

It is time to clean my links out, there is several that are no longer active or not being updated anymore! Some of them I'm surprised to see not posting any more! It scares me the ones that just stop with out saying why! I start thinking something is horribly wrong! So if you are one of the guys/gals on my links of love than send me a note and let me know your ok!

Ok there is something strange in my eating habits as of late! I am on a cereal kick, and I mean sugar over load I've gone to the local store and brought home boxes of Fruit Loops, Captain Crunch and Sugar Pops....I just don't have one serving I'll eat the entire box in one night...Tonight I've had an entire box of Fruit Loops! What is going on here I think its a comfort thing or is it..I love my cereal but its getting to the point where I've had more Fruit Loops this past month than the past 10 years! Hmmm I'm out there some times! I think I need to find my self some thing to do with my time!

I'm tanning these day! Fake and Bake as some like to call it! I look good all dark! It does wonders for the complexion to! Ok I need to get some sleep and one more bowl of Fruit loops!

Night Night all


Sunday, November 14, 2004

Why do I blog at times i don't know and then I remember this the reasoning behing the beginings of my blog! take it for what you will it seems to make perfect sence to me?

It is to learn from each other and share ones life!

To see that we are not all alone in the world and that we share each others pain and happiness!

It is my hope that thru my blog I relate my life in a way that will help others that may be going through similar issues in there lifes by learning from each others mistakes and acomplishments and at the same time help myself by expressing myself and getting my feelings out, to vent in a good way that does not harm others or my self!

I think I need a vacation! An opportunity to get away and gather my thoughts think about where I'm going in life and what exactly I need to do with myself! I'm going to try and start to save some cash for a trip! I'm thinking about California! San Francisco peeks my curiosity! I seem to have some friends down there! Or at least know some guys who may want to keep me company when I'm there! Now I just need to get my self some cash! I don't care what I have to do to get this done! If I have to work my ass of in this cold I'm going to get away for a few weeks! I have to I'm going crazy here and need some time away!

I am feeling totally alone tonight! I can't seem to feel happy no matter what I do!

I'm lost in this world right now! It seems that what ever I do I can't accomplish anything! I really don't know why I'm feeling like this!

I was doing so good there for a few months and then nothing! What do I have to do to get my life in order! I can't do anything the way I want! My friends seem to be far away from me! The ones I have still! I've put my self al alone again! A constant I find that is I'm never with out is being alone by myself! At least I can take comfort in the fact I'm good at that, being alone in this world!

I need a change I need to find something to make things worth it! I find I'm at an end and I don't know where I'm going anymore! In fact it seem that there is no where to go anymore! I'm at a total impass in my life now and there seems to be no way out of my sadness!

I will survive that I know but for what reason that I would like to know!


Friday, November 05, 2004

Hey Ya You look at my site meter will Ya!

It is something that so many of ya all have come by to share my life!

I haven't been looking at it but Wow over 16 000 now if each person that stopped by sent me a 1$ Hmmm hey just kidding! I see some blogs that are just starting and look at mine! Wow the Archives go on and on, I should start ready back some of them, I'm sure I will see some kind of pattern in my life that may help me to get my fucked up self in order and happy! Who knows anyone have any suggestions I'm all ears!

Hey and thanks for stopping bye! Hmm 16000 dicks I could see it now if you all want to send me a pic of your self go ahead I'm feeling really sex ridden sluty like! Nasty piggy boy! Ouch what is happening to me! I may just send you back a pic of my self! Al hard and frisky like! C'mon its a celebration!

What is wrong with me I can't get out of bed to get anything done!

I feel like crap, I look like hell! And I smell bad...My room is a mess, I'm a mess life just sucks in general right about now and I can't figure out why! I think I'm depressed, or could it be that on the last weekend of Oct I spent over 500 dollars on party party and now am broke ass poor for another long month! That would most likely be it! I'm fucked up and you know what was the root of it my dam sex drive that got me in trouble! This cute 20 year old boy wanted to get together we fucked like animals for a day and a half, but now the after affect, no cash, no life, no nothing!
I'm going to half to bust my ass this next month for what a night of sex! Oh my god when will I learn my lesson! Hey but that cum dripping out a his but in the stair well of my building was a site I'll never forget! Ouch I'm like bud there is cum dripping out a your but hole every where! He is like oh sorry! Hey don't be sorry I tell him, bent him over and gave him a big lick scooped up all that man juice and then turned him around and gave him a good hard long taste....ohhh what a night of fucking and it was good fucking! To bad it cost me a few weeks worth a funds!

Ok I have to get my ass in the shower and try and get on with my life! I have to work it big time! In order to make it by this month its going to be a cold long winter!


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