<$BlogRSDUrl$> Gay Canadian X Party Boy

Monday, April 19, 2004

Like any respectful gay man I like to watch gay porn from time to time! In fact it was gay porn online that was my first real look in to gay sex I would spend hours downloading pics when I was in my early 20's before I came out of the proverbial closet..Back in the days with 14.4 modems and it would take hours to get a small movie clip if you could even find them...I remember how I first found out about internet browsers cache files and that my room mate at the time who's computer I was using had been looking through the cache files at what Id been looking at...He never did say anything to me about being gay he did however not seem to have a problem and we spent a year living together...Its funny I found out how to see what files had been looked at and he didn't seem to know that I found out how to do this anyway he would spend a good hour or more a day going to all the sites I did and looking over all the files I had been downloading into the browsers cache files....So I learned fast how to cover up my tracks on his computer...Come to think of it I was lucky all the friends I had back then from around 16 to 23 had no problem with me being gay and most said they where very happy for me when I finally came out! I remember them saying how much I seemed to change over night!...Those where good times in my life and I soo am looking forward to the day when I go back to British Columbia to visit all my old friends and I'm sure that most are still around last I was told most didn't leave small town life!....Little cities in the interior like Kamloops I went to University there and Hi school I was there up till 23! Good place but not much to offer a gay boy with raging hormones and hot man sex on the brain, I tell you the first year or so after I came out living there was a big learning curve for me first time I had sex with a guy, first boyfriend who I fell deeply in love with he was the first guy I lived with in a relationship also the first guy to break my heart, I still love him today and miss him so, I often wonder what happen to him his name was Derek we had our share of problems him his parents and not knowing what to do with his life, me I was way to controlling and started to drink far to much in fact that was the start of my alcoholic ways back then when I was 23.....Oh man memories abound today...I was in contact with him via email for a few months a couple years ago but lost contact again, we had a bad break up......So back to Kamloops I had another first there my introduction to parks and cruising for guys late at night, I often used to say if I had only known about such a place when I was younger my life would have been so much different. I used to spend hours in that park it was called Riverside Park centennial Water Park I grew up around it for years not knowing it was there Hmmmm I had a great time there, screwing guys in the bushes, I remember one day I had two guys bent over a park bench trying to fuck both of them, getting very frustrated because I couldn't reach I wasn't tall enough to get things going Wow memories, I'll never forget this guy on a bike drove right by us me with my pants down and two guy bare asses up in the air bent over the bench those where the days I tell ya, There was one native guy named Fred who would walk through once in a while and all he wanted to do was suck cock so I would let him go at it for hours I would cum over and over, he couldn't get enough it was great leaving only because the sun was coming up....Park life in small town Canada is one of the only outlets for gay guys in many cities with out gay clubs ect....I do miss those days, I tried the park thing in Vancouver several times In fact I remember one night I picked up this Hockey player, he blew me all night couldn't get enough he was one good cock sucker! I can't believe how the memories just flood back when you get to thinking about the old days......I haven't tried the park thing here in Toronto because it feels to unsafe for me In fact that's why I didn't in Vancouver often either....This park is where I met my first lover I mentioned in this post Derek in Kamloops, I'll never forget him picking me up in his parents van with a child safety seat in it...Who would think you could meet the love of your life at three in the morning on some trail in a park in the bushes.....

An other city I spent several years in my early youth is called City of Merritt I'll never forget this place In fact I think my sister still lives there, I do miss here I should try and contact her again its been almost five years since I spoke last with her, I know she has had several problem like me with drugs and alcohol...Enough of that I'll get upset....

So I'm thinking that there must be a gay sex park or spot in Merritt and if I had known about it then would I have gone? Hmmmm Your talking small town Canada Forestry based industry town, Many saw mills and lots of red neck types of guys....Put it this way if you don't get out when you get to your 20's you will never leave Most guys work in Forestry and the women that are not pregnant and having babies work in the traditional female type jobs, like secretary waitress that kinda thing, I remember my first job I worked in A video store there! I was the first guy that had ever worked there and probably was the last for some time...In fact this very same video store put in a porno section and to my amasement they had five gay films,(remember this is a small city 15 000 or so just barely a city in fact most call it a town) now seen as I worked there I had first dibs on them and I tell ya I watched every last one of them, its funny I used to take them without actually officially renting them because I didn't want the other staff to know I was gay, I would discreetly bring them back the next day, the crazy thing is that sometimes I would forget to bring them in and some one would notice they where not there, think that they had gone missing, little did they know a very eager to come out gay boy was at home jacking of feverishly to them every night...So I would slip them back in the back room and the other staff would get all confused thinking that they had mad a mistake during the inventory counts....If it wasn't for that little job and very quaint video store I may not have come out till years later....Seeing all that porn really made me want to try the real thing you can only jerk of for so long and I tell ya I would wear out my dick to the point it would hurt.....
One of the first videos I saw was called A night at Halsteads or some thing like that it was a 70's or early 80's film precondom times, So after I saw this site TITAN MEDIA PRESS RELEASE I started thinking real hard I can't say for sure but It is possible at the time I was seeing something that may have influenced my early sex practices, I can't say but I for sure remember that there was no condoms being used and that that was my first gay porn exposure....The thought is very interesting but extremely hard to know for sure if my lack of condom use was in part because of the porn I saw....

Ok I'm of I'm relaxing today I had a busy Busy weekend work work work I love it being busy I don't want to get into it to much here because in the early days of my blog some posts got back to the B&B I was working at and the management where upset its tricky when it comes to blogs and work!
About the Doc visit today I went, my appointment was cancelled because I went last Wednesday, some mix up with the secretary anyway I'm going thursday morning to find out about the last HIV test I sure hope that the meds are working I think they are I'm feeling better as they days go by and having less of the nasty nasty night sweats! Oh man my face is all swolen from the wisdom tooth I hope that its ok I'm not going to ba able to see my doc till Thursday he is not there on tuesday, I'm going to look into a clinic, there all over the city and are like a my doc but you just walk in, there is one near me at Welesley and Bay street I think I will go there in the morning if the swelling gets worse!
Night night all
Hope you like the look into my past!

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