<$BlogRSDUrl$> Gay Canadian X Party Boy

Monday, April 26, 2004

As I said I would do here is a part of my life when I was on crystal meth, as my intensions when starting this blog it was in part to share such stories so here is one and not the last for sure!

Let me take you on a trip back to around the late 90's...
The setting is in Vancouver, British Columbia I'm around 25 26 years old and in over my head in the club world!

Just a little bump, ahhhhh but it burns ouch but not for long....The rush the tingle up and down my body!
I'm a full fledged party boy at this point and just discovered crystal meth, its cheaper than coke and a bag last a lot longer...Hey its just once a week there is no harm there! Months go bye and the once a week was now every day, a day or two of sleep and a week of party, or what I thought was party...
I'm in the back of a Davie street hip clothing store with the owner of the store I just got him a gram or so, what's this a light bulb! Ya wrap it in paper towel and bust it up in the garbage can, now take the largest piece you can find, that's good now a straw a lighter and the crystal, inhale deep hold it in ahhhh the rush and its after noon so hey I'm ok after all I'm with the owner of this store everything must be ok....Fast forward a few months......I'm hi every day now, most of my day revolves around trying to get hi or working it selling drugs to keep me in my drugs! My nights are at the after hours dancing on G, sometimes a few E's but my favorite was always the crystal! By this point I'm living in a dirty end of the earth rooming house, more like an apartment but full of every street person you see during the day pan handling for change, I'm ok though it just a place to sleep right, wait I'm confused go back a few months...I'm hooked up with this crazy bald French coke dealer, he feels sorry for me I move in with him, I know he wants my sex he doesn't really care I use him he uses me, I'm still Hi every day, I'm now getting paid by the after hour clubs with drugs instead of cash, hey it worked for me, I've got my self a pipe now, forget burning my nose all to hell! Ahhhh I'm in the life go out promote a after hours get some drugs some drinks go to my room free base some crystal for the day and back out to the after hours for another night of party! But wait what this I'm starting to stay in for days, stop it stop talking to me, there is some one looking at me under the door, I can see them...No I'm seeing things I tell my self...Wait there is some one there...My ear to the door, can it be hours have gone by with my ear to the door on my knees looking under the door....Wait its out the widow some one is talking to me through the window, I can hear them there telling me I've been snorting drano up my nose and I'm going to dye...What's going on fuck stop bothering me....I wake up days later want to get more crystal.....I'm in my bed again Hi and the neighbor's are talking to me again, I'm so tired of them why can't I get away from them they are looking at me through my window, what is happening to me they are on my wall telling me to run run away there going to kill you if you don't get out, get out we are trying to help you run get your things and leave.....I keep thinking how do they know how can they be on my wall! I get my things I run out the apartment door bang on the neighbors door down the hall telling them that I'm going to be killed hide me hide me I'm so scared! I'm running down the street at this point I'm seeing red dots all over my body its them they are aiming there guns at me Im dead! Over there I hide in the bushes just hide here its ok they are not going to see you there, take a bump its going to be ok....I'm at a friends now, He sleeps on the floor I'm lying beside him he tells me to sleep its going to be ok....I'm dead I keep saying he keeps asking what I'm talking about are you ok are you ok, can't you see them can't you see them the red dots all over me its there guns there trying to get me....I can't stay here they will kill you to I have to go but there out there in the hall way I can't go! There every where what now, I call the police I'm calling the police I'm telling them about all the men with the guns there after me! I'm scared what do I do!....I'm running down the street I'm running help I see a friend there are you ok what happen to you why are you in your underwear, are you ok! What happen to you, I'm telling you I can't stop or they might get you I have to hide I have to run...I wake up at my friends the coke dealer days later!

Oh man this was a bit of a few weeks when I was going crazy from doing crystal meth....Its funny I can remember everything the reflection on the wall from the sun through the window thinking it was the people upstairs talking to me like a movie on the wall...I was having extreme paranoid delusions and I'm surprised I made it out of them alive half the time! I'm telling you I have many stories like this and they get very strange and it pains me that I can still get a taste in my mouth for the drug when I think about it, its a powerful drug and before you know it when your on it you are going crazy, you don't see it till after though after you get off of it...I had many many days of being on it with no sleep,you get schizophrenic you start to hear and see things that are not there, one of the things I used to always here was when I was in a bathroom with a fan I would here do you believe in love! the Cher song I would keep hearing it over and over do you believe...I would think I was going crazy and then what just have a big big bump...At my worst I was doing half gram lines of crystal and would be hi for weeks on end.....I'm warning anyone who has tried it to keep it away from you I lost everything from its power....The addiction will take over very fast and you will not have control until you hit the bottom like me Homeless on the streets of Vancouver, Crying on the phone to a friend in Calgary to go and stay with her...I saw the look on her face when I showed up she couldn't stop the tears I was a mess...I slept for a week on her couch before I woke to tell her what had happen to me!

I have many more stories of my paranoid dilutions I will share in the future, Oh boy I have to rest after that one I'm a mess! Its strange after 5 years now I still get watering of the mouth when I talk about the drug the way you do when your looking forward to that fine meal! or that hamburger when your very hungry!
Night Night

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